Wednesday, August 17, 2011

8-17-2011 The Weekly Claw

The wheels on the short bus go ‘round and ‘round…

A) Once again I’m asking my readers to consider making a contribution to this cause. A Navy pilot is running in the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon and raising money for the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund. The Crawfish has contributed, as has at least one of my readers and fellow bloggers. I would love to see some more familiar names on the list, even if it is just for $10.

B) Expect to see this exact same scenario played out here in the USA in the near future. A 13-year old boy steals a golf club and uses it to smash up a store. The mother, who has ELEVEN children but has no baby-daddy in the house, lives on “benefits” (she’s a welfare brood mare). She is ashamed of her son, but says it is all the fault of the government. Wrong answer. The problem is that YOU don’t know how to keep your legs together! It is the fault of those who committed the violence and their families. The government is considering cutting off the “benefits” of those convicted, but this measure is being criticized by liberals. The Crawfish says that they should start by cutting off the benefits to the whole families of those convicted of rioting. This is what happens when you give people something for nothing.

C) Neal Boortz reminded us of another “benefits” leech. This woman has five children by four sperm donors, none of whom are living with their children. She saved her “benefits” instead of using them to better the lives of her children. The “benefits” instead paid for her to go from a 34A to a 34DD, and more of them will go to get those things reduced 25 years from now and to pay for back surgery if she ever gets off of the waiting list.

D) There’s also a case of a little girl whose mother allowed her to do sexy bikini photo spreads at age 12. By the time she was 15, her mother was allowing the girl’s 17-year old boyfriend to sleep over. Now, still 15, the girl is pregnant, and the mother is HAPPY about it. Why? Because she will now get a bigger home from the government.

E) The Crawfish gives a final salute to Albert “Doc” Brown, who passed away this week at age 105.

F) So Michelle Bachmann won the Iowa Straw Poll and the Paulbots came in 2nd. Why do we care? This event is a complete non-event! Only 16,000 people get involved. Wait, that’s the number of MEDIA people involved. About 16,800 people “voted” in this event, but every voting ticket has to be purchased. The campaigns purchase the tickets and bribe people to come to the state fair to use the tickets to vote. The winner gets absolutely nothing, since this is not a primary. So why is this event important to anybody except the organizers and concessionaires at the Iowa State Fair? I really don’t get it.

G) Barack Obama is out on his “Magical Misery Tour”, as dubbed by Mitt Romney. He has the taxpayers paying for it, since he claims that it is not really a campaign tour, including paying over a million bucks for his armored bus. How many of you noticed that the bus does NOT have an American flag anywhere on it? The Crawfish finds this completely unacceptable, especially since should be riding the SHORT BUS!

H) The silence of the mainstream media is astounding considering the extreme outlaw behavior being promoted by union bosses and acted out by union thugs in the Verizon strike. While the rest of the world has entered the 21st century, unions are stuck in the 1930s.

I)The Obama Administration, and the rest of the Democratic Party, is adhering to a philosophy attributed to both Lenin and Josef Goebbels. If you tell a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. The Administration has now sent Agriculture Secretary Vilsack out to bleat the talking point that Food Stamps and other unemployment handouts are good for the economy because they create jobs. Right, giving people incentive to NOT work makes them go get a job.

J) The idiots running California can’t get their spending under control, but they sure know how to control everything else. Now there is proposed legislation mandating the use of fitted sheets on all hotel mattresses. Why does the state care if a hotel uses a fitted sheet and a flat sheet or two flat sheets? What difference does it make to the taxpayers? If people want luxury sheets, they can spend their money in hotels that use them. Let the free market decide!

K) Meanwhile, in the suburbs of DC, we have yet another flash mob, made up entirely of blacks, robbing a 7-11 en masse. The clerk hit the panic alarm, but the cops didn’t show up until well after the fact (when seconds count, the police are only minutes away). The cops took a look at the tape and said that there was nothing they could do. You can’t make any identifications off of a surveillance tape. Really? The faces are quite clear! Then again, this is the DC area and the shop owner is from the middle east. Eric Holder has already set the precedent that blacks are not to be prosecuted when their victims are not black. To prosecute would be raaaaaaaaacist! Since we have noticed this, we are also raaaaaaaacist.

L) The continuing stories of tax fraud and other improprieties involving the property and mansion owned by the Obamas in Chicago just keep popping up. Is there anything that they have been involved in that was 100% legit? They really do make the Clintons look honest.

M) Senator Patrick “Leaky” Leahy (D-VT) wants to suspend all aid to units of the Israeli Defense Force because they might have committed human rights abuses against the terrorists of Hamas and Hezbollah. Leahy, who STILL has never been prosecuted for giving classified information to the Washington Compost and other liberal media organizations repeatedly, has no problem with giving aid to the terrorists under the guise of the “Palestinian Authority” despite their record of atrocities, but Israel must be punished. Why do American Jews support the political party that wants all Jews in Israel to die?

N) Leave it to a city that does everything it can to subvert the Constitution to start shutting down cell phone service because of a possible protest. The left wing loons of Than Franthithco saw that happen over the weekend. First Amendment, anyone?

O) “We’re going to have to take on entitlements, and I think we’ve got to do it quickly. We’re going to have a lot of work to do, so I can’t guarantee that we’re going to do it in the next two years, but I’d like to do it in my first term as president.” When Barack Obama said that in 2008, the nation figured he meant reforming entitlements to make them leaner, less expensive, and less filled with fraud. Nope, his agenda was to put them all on steroids.

P) Here’s a new headline: “Obama Kills American Jobs, Bows to China Again!” The Obama Administration has formally rejected Taiwan’s request to buy new F-16 fighter jets, because the Chinese government still adheres to the alternate reality that has Taiwan being part of mainland China. The program would have kept 16,000 Americans at work and brought in over $768,000,000.00 in federal tax revenue, but it would have helped one of our traditional allies so it was a non-starter with this Administration.

Q) I know it will be hard for y’all to believe this, but Barack Obama has once again lied about private sector jobs and the economy. He stated that under his leadership, the private sector has created 2 million jobs. Obviously, when looking at the stats from his own Department of Labor, he (intentionally) overlooked the negative sign. On top of that, he claimed that the economy started a recovery under his Administration, but that damned tsunami and the Arab Spring and Michelle’s hangnail and his faulty putter and a few other things have slowed it down, since EVRYBODY knows that HIS policies can NEVER fail.

R) The three ATF supervisors who ran the Fast and Furious/Gunrunner operations have been dealt with. They kept these programs going on long after they spun out of control and now they have paid the price. All three have been…PROMOTED! You see, none of them have admitted that Eric Holder was involved, and to keep their mouths shut, they had to get promoted.

S) His Majesty King Barack I has absolutely no experience with business, with the possible exception of being a community organizer for strikes, so why is he trying to tell the automakers that they need to “understand the market”? “You can't just make money on SUVs and trucks. There is a place for SUVs and trucks, but as gas prices keep on going up, you have got to understand the market. People are going to try to save money.” If trucks and SUVs are the top sellers, then the automakers need to build more of them. If the Volt, Prius, and Smart Car were on heavy backorder, the automakers would be ramping up production on those models. Just because The Chosen One WANTS America to drive smaller, lighter, less safe cars doesn’t mean that America wants those pieces of dung. Oh wait…that’s capitalism. Why would he understand that?

T) I give the odds of this experiment working for more than a decade as about 1:1,000,000,000,000,000,000. Someone will get power hungry or they will start smoking the socialist utopian bong.

U) While those of us who don’t drive the most fuel-efficient vehicles might appreciate the thought of a system that would equalize our gas taxes with those who get high mileage, the Big Brother aspects of this proposal make it a non-starter. If any state tried it, there would be immediate lawsuits based upon the same mythological “right of privacy” that was the lynchpin of the Roe v. Wade case.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, you can post them on my writer page on Facebook or e-mail them to the address listed on that page. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit if I use your input.

“The Constitution on which our Union rests, shall be administered by me [as President] according to the safe and honest meaning contemplated by the plain understanding of the people of the United States at the time of its adoption – a meaning to be found in the explanations of those who advocated, not those who opposed it, and who opposed it merely lest the construction should be applied which they denounced as possible.” – Thomas Jefferson, letter to Mesrs. Eddy, Russel, Thurber, Wheaton, and Smith, 1801

The Constitution of the United States


  1. I could not believe the libtards in San Fruitsicko shutting off cells. If a relative of mine needed care, i.e., an ambulance, and died as a result, I'd feed that bureaucrat to the fish, a piece at a time.

  2. The funny thing about the Obama's bus is that is was made in Canada, though retrofitted here in America.. Wasn't he continuously telling us to buy American?


  3. Eric, unfortunately American auto makers are restricted to building unicorn fart powered Jetson mobiles. Road Warrior One would never meet CAFE standards required for production in the USA. On the bright side, although the owner's manual will be in both English and French, it isn't in Cantonese.

  4. Middle of the week already....
    A)Consider it done.
    B)This is what the prog/stats have been wanting for YEARS. Along with the benefit cut,how about their thieving HANDS as well.
    C)Didn't seem to make a difference to the sperm donors then,what the hell difference would it make now? Once a skanky slut,always a skanky slut. Big hooties,or small.
    D) Now I'm all for finding cures for various diseases. We NEED to find one for ABJECT STUPIDITY.This "mother" should be on trial for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
    E)RIP to a TRUE hero.
    F)The answer lies herewith"except the organisers and concessionaires". Follow the money,old son,follow the money.
    G)Watching his caravan reminds me of a funeral procession. The only thing here about those busses,is MCI,or Orion,or Thomas,the three remaining large bus builders left in the U.S. may not have been able to deliver what the SS required.As to not having a flag,not at all surprised.
    H)Message to Verizon: Close up shop,reopen Monday,with NO union jobs available.
    I)Sounds just like Pelosi,eh?
    J)Look for the SEIU label on this piece of shit.
    K)The only way to fix this,is when the first wave comes in and starts trouble,OPEN FIRE with automatic rifles.
    L)Yep. Criminal-in-chief,no doubt.
    M)Damn,Beelezebub,WHAT are you waiting for? Come get Leaky,take him to see his ol'pal,Dead Ted.
    N)WHERE is the San Andreas Fault when you NEED it? C'mon,already. Get busy.
    O)Can't IMAGINE 4 more years of this crud.
    P)The ol'BECS,just a hammerin' away at them jobs,yessirree Bob. Damned fool.
    Q)Pesky frigging - sign anyway.
    R)It IS the ghetto way,after all.
    S)I wonder if he EVER thinks he ought to just STFU.
    T)Might work,until the Somali pirates board it.
    U)Be REAL easy to thwart that system.
    OK,Craw,fine heap. C ya later.

  5. B., C. & D.: When the Conservatives take over in 2012, ALL entitlements MUST STOP! I am sick and tired of paying welfare leeches to sit on their butts, eat steak and shrimp paid for by food stamps, have more children to get more welfare, buy illegal drugs, and gamble at the casinos. Enough is enough.

    E.: Doc Brown is the exact opposite of those mentioned in B., C., and D. He was a true American hero (and the oldest US survivor of the Bataan Death March). And with you Crawfish, I salute him.

    G.: Is it just me or didn't O'Vomit just insult the entire country by buying "Darth Vader I" from Canada?

    Another good edition Crawfish!

  6. (B) Tried to access the "cutting off the benefits.." but it just sends me to a site where I have to join something. How about emailing it to me?

    (C) Yep. and (D) What'd you expect?

    (E) A family friend survived the march. He weigned 90 lbs when he returned home.

    (F) The event is important only in that it confirms what the pollsters are saying.

    (G) Why would he have an American flag on the bus when he, himself disrespects the flag and the national anthem?

    (H) Perhaps the unions, too, are losing public sympathy and are making the same last gasp violence as are/will be the leftists when they are on the way out. Did you hear the electrical contractor in Illinois who was on Beck yesterday? He was actually shot by a union thug who he caught spraying graffitti "scab" on his car?

    (J) The argument the employees changing the sheets are subject to back injuries lifting that heavy ol' mattress to tuck the corners in. Maybe they're on to something there. The hotel pays for fitted sheets so we don't pay for the illegals' emergency room treatment for back ailments.

    (K) What a hell of a deal. The cops won't do anything and you can't due to DC's gun laws.

    (L) Just looking at the ariel view of that property causes me to ask a couple of things;
    1. When did Obama as a
    community organizer, or a
    state senator, or even a
    U.S. senator
    ever have the income to afford such a place?

    (M) Vermont. I think Ethan Allen is turning over in his grave. You have two shots at the U.S. Senate and you send a socialist and a Marxist...but I repeat myself.

    (O) He said what he would do. Folks heard what they wanted to hear. And he let 'em.

    (P) Let's hope we have an ally left by the time Zero is run out of town. Somewhere. Oh, yeah. Australia. We still have Australia. Maybe he just hasn't gotten around to Australia yet. Because the Australian PM told the muzzies how the cow ate the cabbage down under.

    (Q) He must have studied the Dear Leader in North Korea. Who played a round of golf and told his subjects he had something like 14 holes in one... Tyrants want so desperately to appear as nothing less than perfect.

    (R) They might not have admitted Holder's involvement but it is coming out by whistleblowers who will testify to keep their own asses out of jail. Sent you an email re this earlier today.

    (S) Now you understand why Zero nationalized GM. Because NO carmaker would have producted the POS cars Zero wants on their own because they are biiiigggg losers

    (T) Reminds me back in the late '60's some folks moved onto an unclaimed island not too far from the Polynesian Republic of Tonga. That lasted all of a month until the Tongan Republic sent an armed force and shut it down. I don't know if they had war canoes or what but they convinced the folks there they didn't really want to start a new country on an unclaimed island.

    (U) TEXAS is taking a look? You mean the Texas with the soooo conservative governor Rick Perry????

  7. Aside to Buck: That electrical contractor was from Lambertville,Michigan.About 30 miles away from me. My son-in-law worked for this guy up till about 6 months ago.

  8. Gunny,
    liberals who scream about censorship shutting down cell phones? Kinda like you or me wanting to defund the Dept of the Navy.

  9. Eric,
    what he says NEVER matches what he or micHELLe do!

  10. Saltwater,
    no, but the manuals for everything installed inside are!

  11. Oh crap...clyde's here...
    B) Like I said...coming soon to a major urban area near you!
    C) 'cause now she might be able to get herself a sugar daddy who will outfit her gummint home with new furniture, laptops, gaming systems, jew-ray (as Deion Sanders used to call it), a new car....all stuff that the gummint can't use against her since she doesn't have a real J-O-B
    D) The gummint should tell her "NO!" Keep the same house and DEAL WITH IT! Oh, and since the babydaddy has a job, she gets kicked out of that gummint house!
    E) Amen, bro
    F) well....them and the media, and the party organizers
    G) I'm sure Honda USA could have custom built 'em for less.
    H) Obama's NLRB won't allow any "union busting", but they will allow COMPANY BUSTING!
    I) It is one of their new talking points. He has repeated it since then.
    J) Since it is soooo hard to make a bed without fitted sheets. Wait, anybody who has graduated from boot camp can do it....well, maybe not the Air Force. They might have maid service in boot camp by now.
    K) Notice that these mobs don't happen where CHL's are prevalent!
    L) I didn't think it was possible to make the Clintons look honest.
    M) SOON!
    N) Sooner the better
    O) The people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who VOTE for a living.
    P) Jobs for Americans and help for our allies...not on HIS agenda
    Q) Math is obviously not a strong point
    R) and the mafia way...
    S) Nah..likes his own voice too much
    T) Or a bunch of welfare folks....
    U) Let the snipping of the wires commence!

  12. Ghost,
    head, nail, impacted on the, one each, US Tea Party issue

  13. Buck,
    B) done
    C) Only difference between here and there is the skin color
    E) Salute
    F) and it gives the Paulbots more energy to support their fool
    G) Bingo
    H) That's in the draft for Saturday
    J) Simple, tell the illegals to go to the hospital in Tijuana on their own peso
    K) Liberal paradise!
    L) When Michelle started earning over $300K for a job that was so vital that they cut it when she went to DC
    M) pure idiocy
    O) true
    P) He'll piss them off before Jan 2013
    Q) Meanwhile, back in reality.....
    R) But who will keep the whistleblowers alive?
    S) New data shows the CAFE standards he's putting in place will drive up the price by $11K+ per vehicle. That means more UAW workers go on unemployment!
    T) Taxes would have to be 100%
    U) Probably a pet project of one of our Democrat legislators trying to replace Perry.

  14. Hey,WHADDYA mean,"oh crap...clyde's here..."? HARRRUMMMPPPHHH. bwahahahahahahahahahahahha


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