7-6-2011 The Weekly Claw

This weekend, real Americans celebrated our independence, while liberals plotted the end of that independence.

The Crawfish gives a big salute to Command Sergeant Major Jeff Mellinger, who is retiring from the US Army after thirty nine years of service. He is the last of the Vietnam-era draftees to leave the Armed Forces of the United States.

After the verdict in the Casey Anthony case, Sheriff Jerry Demmings said, “As a verdict has been rendered we ask our community to respect the decision the jury and court have made today. In doing so, we ask for your continued, peaceful acknowledgment of that verdict. Historically, there have been other high profile criminal prosecutions throughout our nation that resulted in civil disobedience. Please, I ask this community that regardless of one's personal beliefs about the innocence or guilt of Casey Marie Anthony, that you maintain your peaceful resolve.” As The Crawfish heard that statement, I wondered what in the world he was thinking. In this case, the Sheriff is black, the defendant was white, and this wasn’t El Lay, DC, Detroit, Baltimore, Chicago, or Miami. The likelihood of rioting was nil!

As long as we’re discussing strange court cases, the Michigan anti-discrimination ruling from a panel of the 6th Circuit last week had some interesting language written into it. According to the two Clinton-appointed judges in the majority, the 14th Amendment’s “equal protection” clause is unConstitutional. They also said that the law would have political effects, so it must be thrown out. Uh, isn’t that part of the point when bills go through a legislature and the electoral process? Politics are illegal in legislatures and in elections? Thanks again to Monica’s boyfriend.

How stoooopid can this Administration really be? It seems that every week brings them to a new low in pushing their radical agenda, and this week doesn’t change the pattern. The US Embassy in the muslim country of Pakistan held a big Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Pride celebration in support of “human rights” including those of LGBT weirdoes in Pakistan. Not only is that in support of something abhorrent to most Americans and a major no-no in all of the world’s major religions (Islam calls for execution, the Bible calls it an abomination), but it is an INTENTIONAL diplomatic slap in the face to the people of Pakistan, which is something you do NOT do even to a nation full of muslim terrorists and muslim terrorist sympathizers.

Meanwhile, India’s Health Minister stated that homosexuality is an unnatural western “disease”. He’s close, but not quite correct. It is unnatural, but it is a CHOICE that brings on diseases and is promoted heavily as “natural” and “cool, hip, in, (insert whatever word they’re using now)” by those infected with the “progressive” mental disease of liberalism.

Barack Obama has yet again violated federal law. This time, he funneled money to ACORN through HUD, in violation of Public Law 111-117. It must be good to be a dictator who can pick and choose what laws to follow.

Barack Obama is trying to get a stay in the execution of an illegal alien who raped and murdered a 16-year old girl in San Antonio seventeen years ago, saying it would do “irreparable harm” to US interests and put us in breach of international treaties (the Vienna conventions, which give people in countries other than their own access to the legal folks in their Consulates before questioning when accused of crimes). Sorry, King Putt, but there are a few problems with that. First of all, Vienna only applies to people who are LEGALLY in the nation where they commit a crime. Since this guy was here ILLEGALLY, he has NO rights. Secondly, Vienna only applies to nations with real governments. Mexico’s “government” only governs a few cities and tourist areas, while the drug lords control most of the country. Thirdly, the Supremes have already ruled that the Vienna conventions apply to federal law enforcement, but not to the states. Fourth, this non-dryback has been on death row longer than his victim was alive, so he should have been executed when George W. Bush was Governor. Rick Perry is rightfully telling the Administration to whizz up a rope.

Let’s see here….Chrissy “Tingly Leg” Matthews is supposedly a Catholic, and the Catholic Church says abortion is a mortal sin, period. Jim Crow laws were enacted by Democrats to keep blacks “in their place.” Abortions kill more black babies tha all other races combined in America. Planned Parenthood’s founder, Margaret Sanger, wanted abortion to be used to kill off the black race. So will someone puh-leeze explain how Matthews can make the logic leap to compare the regulation of abortion clinics to Jim Crow laws? Blacks should be HAPPY that some states are cracking down on abortion mills. It would give them a higher percentage of the vote in two decades if those death factories were shut down! Tingle Boy doubled down on his moonshine-infused Obama Kool Aid by later saying that the GOP was committing economic terrorism, was like the Wahhabis, and needs to “stop dicking around.” How does he stay employed?

The White House marxist Animal Farm moment of the week comes from propaganda minister Carney, who said Americans “just want us to get something done that’s sensible, that spreads the sacrifice and spreads the prosperity.” So when are the Democrats going to have the 50% who pay no federal income tax start sharing in the sacrifice? When is Moochelle going to sacrifice by not having a taxpayer-funded White House party with celebrities or foregoing taxpayer-funded weekly vacations? Some pigs are more equal than others.

Why in the wide, wide world of sports does the White House need 454 aides? This isn’t just a dig at the Obama Administration, who pays that bunch a combined $37.1 million per year even after cutting 15 aides worth $1.7 million this year. He only has 8 more aides than W had, and that payroll is $4 million more than W’s. Some of those aides are for the First Grifter, who has no official governmental duties and as such deserves no staff of her own that she doesn’t pay for out of her own pocket.

When the Obama Administration releases a report on Friday afternoon leading into a holiday weekend, you know that they are trying to avoid any media and public notice. Such was the case this weekend, as the White House’s Council of Economic Advisors released their “Seventh Quarterly Report” on the effects of the so-called “stimulus that Obama, Reid, and P-Lousy championed with such fanfare in the first month of the reign of King Bu’raq al Obama. The report shows that the taxpayers have paid over $278,000.00 per job supposedly “created or saved” by this Administration. In other words, each of those people whose jobs were “created or saved” (2.4 million if you believe the Obamites, even though there are almost 2 million more people out of work since the “stimulus” was passed) could have been given a check for $100,000.00 and we would have saved $427,000,000,000.00. By the way, the same Council said in their “Fifth Quarterly Report” that the so-called “stimulus” had “saved or created” 2.7 million jobs, which means that the “stimulus” has caused the LOSS of 300,000 jobs in the past six months.

How childish and petty can the Administration be? Consider that there was a grand celebration over the weekend at and around the US Embassy in London for the 100th birthday of Ronald Reagan. Dignitaries abounded. Lady Thatcher, whose health prevented her from attending, sent a fine statement. There was one person conspicuously absent, Louis B. Susman. Susman happens to be the Obama Administration’s Ambassador to the Court of Saint James. The only reason for his absence would be that he was ordered to not attend. Since Obama is the worst President in history, it would not do for his Ambassador to celebrate the life of the greatest President of the 20th century.

Somehow, this little story doesn’t seem too far-fetched (thanx to Poll Katz member Bill):

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“Do not ever let anyone claim to be a true American patriot, if they ever attempt to separate religion from politics.”-George Washington

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