3-2-2010 The Weekly Claw

Well, it’s Primary Day down here in the Great State of Texas, and the big news is the GOP primary in the Governor’s race. Rick Perry has served as Governor longer than anyone else in Texas history, and while he has grown a spine in recent years in asserting the 10th Amendment in battles against DC, he hasn’t really been a friend of conservatives with his spending habits, forcing all schoolgirls to get the HPV vaccine, his advocacy of the NAFTA Super Corridor, and his cozying up to former Mexican President Vincente Fox. His big-name opponent is Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson, who has been called “Queen of the Earmarks” by one Texas newspaper, “Porker of the Month October 2009” by Citizens Against Government Waste, and was nominated for “Porker of the Year” by CAGW (coming in 2nd only to Bawney Fwank).. She’s been mostly conservative in her 17 years in DC, but not on fiscal matters until Barack Obama became President. The third person in the race is Debra Medina, who is a former county GOP Chair in south Texas and high-level volunteer in the Ron Paul campaign. She is pro-life, pro-2nd Amendment, pro-state sovereignty to the point of advocating for states to nullify federal laws that violate the 10th Amendment, and wants to deploy the Texas National Guard on the border to fight illegal immigration. Gee, I wonder who The Crawfish voted for. Let’s just hope that she can end out ahead of KBH and force Perry into a run-off. Then we can worry about defeating Bill White, the Mayor who turned Houston into an even greater cesspool than it already was, in November.

For those of you who were expecting me to be blasting Dick’s Sporting Goods in this space today because of how Mrs. Crawfish was treated over the weekend, the call for a boycott is off. She talked to the firearms department manager at the store on Monday and he severely apologized for the actions of his employees, promised departmental training on state firearms laws and proper customer service, and gave her some deep discounts on a few items. ‘Tis all good in the hood.

He’s baaaaaaaaack. The Prophet Algoracle is stepping back into the man-made Glo-Bull Warming fight, penning this op-ed piece in the Noo Yawk Simes. All of the recent scandals in the supposed science of his religion can be explained away as minor errors, which science will never be free of. He also predicts stronger hurricanes, which he and his ilk have been predicting ever since Katrina, only to be forced to claim that the LACK of powerful hurricanes is due to Glo-Bull Warming (which is the subject of yet another report that came out recently). I couldn’t even make it past the first page. He just can’t comprehend how reality and real science is in opposition to his religion.

Regular Claw readers will note that the collapse of the credit market came about because of the gummint-run Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which have been used to make Dim-ocrats such as Franklin Raines very rich while they cooked the books. Meanwhile, their main protectors have been Senator Chris “Countrywide” Dodd and Representative Bawney “Gay Bordelo” Fwank, both of whom repeatedly said that Freddie and Fannie were in excellent financial state all the way until the day they collapsed. Now Fannie is seeking $15,300,000,000.00 in bailout money from the gummint yet again. When will this particular bit of madness be stopped?

The headline of this article should make Democrats quite happy. It is exactly what they have always wanted.

Please tell me that y’all saw this one coming as soon as P-Lousy grabbed the gavel. Her Deputy Barney Fife, Steny Hoyer, is now saying that the Democrats in Congress are going to have to raise taxes in order to reduce the deficit and the debt. In as address at the Brookings Institute, Hoyer said, “If need be, I am hopeful that both parties will agree to look at revenues as part of the solution — not as a gateway to higher spending, but as part of a compromise that cuts spending and balances the budget.” Uh, Steny? The “gateway to higher spending” was the election of the Donkeys. What part of TARP, “stimulus”, Crrrap and Tax, Obamacare, and raising the debt ceiling had anything to do with fiscal responsibility, budget balancing, and debt reduction?

Neal Boortz brings us a story from Forbes Magazine that echoes what most of us conservative-types have been saying for decades. The combination of unions (especially government worker unions) and the leeches of society is bringing our nation to its knees economically. The states that are deepest kimchee are all dominated by unions and leeches, while the states that are weathering the storm without major problems are not.

Barack Obama’s sugar daddy, and the behind the scenes leader of the extreme left in America is up to some of his old tricks. George Soros, whose Jewish family first gained power by betraying the Hungarian Jewish population to the Nazis in WW2, made his fortune by breaking the Bank of England and the British Pound (for which he still has charges against him but will never stand trial) and with insider trading in France (for which he was convicted, but fled to America). Since then he has been behind the efforts to destroy the economy of the United States, and now is the central figure in a hedge fund operation to cash in as they force the meltdown of the Euro. When will the EU and the USA get together and put an end to his schemes, with extreme prejudice?

Well, it is good to see that there are some federal judges who have at least read part of the Constitution. Unfortunately, the next stop for this case is the 9th Circus, which doesn’t believe in the Constitution.

The next set of celebrities for ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” has been announced, and The Crawfish has one major question about them. Will figure skater Evan Lysacek be paired with a woman (He technically is a male) or a man (Did you see his outfits in the Olympics? In an interview, he said that his sister was better in every sport they ever tried until he went to figure skating.)?

Calypso Louie stepped back into the spotlight on Sunday, and as usual played the race card. He claimed that it is eeeeevillll whitey working to make Obama a one-term President. Meanwhile, he suggested that Obama should give his group more money, since they have done such a wonderful job of reforming black prison inmates. Reform being defined as taking angry black criminals and turning them into angry black ant-American muslim criminals.

One of the gummint’s main tools to make sure that American jobs are held by people who are actually legal to be in America is, as most government programs are, all screwed up. Instead of closing the borders and deporting all non-drybacks, the Bush and Obama Administrations have relied upon a program called e-verify. Welllllll…..it seems that e-verify fails to spot the illegals FIFTY FOUR PERCENT OF THE TIME! Yep, your federal tax dollars at work.

The liberal media keeps trying to show how the Tea Party movement is made up of kooks, racists, and future domestic terrorists. Their poster boy is a guy named Dale Robertson. Unfortunately for the liberals, Mr. Robertson has been rejected by every Tea Party organization that he has ever attempted to affiliate with. Mr. Robertson is also a serial liar, having made all sorts of claims of military service that just simply are not true.

Queen of the House Red Nanny P-Lousy is calling on her minions to pass Obamacare, even if it means an end to their political careers. Evidently, she will do anything to make the American people beholden to the Democrats for eternity, even if it costs her the Speakership for a couple of years. Then again, she proclaimed on all of the Sunday shows that there is no way the Democrats will lose the House this fall.

“A bill can be bipartisan without bipartisan votes.” Such is the reality-free mentality of Red Nanny.

Speaker Botox also said that the Tea Party Movement is now being run by the Republican Party, ignoring all evidence that the Tea Party folks are very much against the GOP “establishment”. She still says the Tea Party Movement is not a grassroots effort, but rather is “Astroturf”.

Yet another Democrat politician is in deep trouble because he thought his status as a powerful Democrat allowed him to be above the law. Noo Yawk’s mostly-blind Governor got his job because his predecessor enjoyed highly-priced prostitutes, despite having a wife at home. Now Guvna Paterson is in trouble because an aide committed sexual assault, and the Guvna directed two other state employees and the State Police to contact the victim to try to get her to drop the charges. Noo Yawkers being the idjuts they are will probably replace him with another Democrat.

Meanwhile, the White House is still not in any position to deny claims by Representative Joe Sestak (D-Pennsyltucky) that they offered him a high Administration post if he’d drop out of his run against Arlen S.P.E.C.T.R.E. If the Administration can’t deny the claims, that is an admission that the claims are true and that someone broke federal laws at the behest of Barack Obama.

If you really want to see the heads of a bunch of envirowackos explode (or would that be their vacuous heads IMplode?), just show them this article. Yes, the green movement is set to do more damage to the earth than fossil fuels.

The Man with the Fecal Touch strikes again. After helping to elect Republicans in Virginia, Noo Joisey, and Taxachusetts, The Chosen One went back on the campaign trail. He went to Las Vegas to campaign for Dingy Harry Reid. Take a wild guess as to what happened in the polls as a result. Keep up the great work, Barry!

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The Roots of Violence:
Wealth without work,
Pleasure without conscience,
Knowledge without character,
Commerce without morality,
Science without humanity,
Worship without sacrifice,
Politics without principles.”
- Mohandas K. Gandhi

The Constitution of the United States