5-25-2011 The Weekly Claw

Well, we’re all here. Either the Rapture predictions were completely made up (and the Bible says that man will not know when it will occur), or we’re a bunch of baaaaad boys and girls. There is a third option…all of the above!

A) Barack Obama defecated upon one of our closest allies while their Prime Minister was flying to Washington. Obama embraced the demands of the so-called palestinians and called for Israel to return to the pre-1967 borders. He also called Israel’s policy of letting Israelis live within Israel an unacceptable “permanent occupation.” The Golan Heights, the Gaza Strip, the West Bank, and Eastern Jerusalem were captured by Israel during wars of extermination launched by arab nations against Israel. The arabs lost, and in losing lost all claim to those lands. A Likud member of the Knesset said, “Barack Hussein Obama adopted Yasser Arafat’s staged plan for Israel’s destruction, and he is trying to force it on our prime minister.”

B) Obama’s attempt to placate the muslims and get them to like us by selling out Israel has already failed. Hamas still says that they will never recognize Israel. The only way to end this is to give the so-called palestinians a homeland of their own, carved out of the lower section of Lebanon, part of Syria, and some of Jordan. Even then, they will probably continue to attack Israel, since that is what the unholy Koran tells them to do.

C) Obama also took a dump on American laws and our Congress when he basically told Congress “I don’t need your permission” to continue combat operations in Libya. He claims that since the US forces are just supporting NATO instead of leading the operation the War Powers Act does not apply. This legal opinion coming from someone who believes the Constitution authorizes the government to force citizens to buy a certain product.

D) For the second year in a row, the Democrats are refusing to do their duty and put forth a budget. Typical liberals…putting their own power over the well-being of the nation.

E) Here is the political laugh of the week. Mafia Boss Trumka of the AFL-CIO is threatening Democrats with a loss of union support if they don’t aggressively support the union boss agenda. First of all, this is the most pro-union Administration and Senate since the days of FDR. Secondly, unions already have too much power within the federal government (like the NLRB) that is clearly in violation of the Constitution. Last, but not least, the union bosses will give millions upon millions of dollars ripped from the wallets of the working folk to the Democrats no matter what the Dems do on the Hill or to American workers. Anybody who believes otherwise can’t pass a drug test.

F) A close second goes to James Earl Carter. The Embarrassment of Annapolis says that he is “superior” to all other former-Presidents. In reality, although he was (until now) the worst President in history, he is even worse as a former-Pres.

G) For those out there who still believe that our deficit problems are all due to George W. Bush’s tax cuts and spending, here is a simple rebuttal. The real reason for our problems is the runaway spending by anti-Constitutional liberals.

H) “Never has a field of presidential contenders gotten so little real scrutiny from the press corps.” So says the Obama 2012 campaign in reference to the current crop of GOP candidates. Are they forgetting how the media absolutely refused to do ANY digging on Barack Obama in 2008?

I) Here is yet another example of why left wing nuts should not be allowed to breed.

J) STOP THE PRESSES! Barack Obama has admitted that government does not create jobs and that businesses do.

K) If they were to actually read and understand the Fair Tax, conservatives AND liberals would probably support it, even though their politicians would never vote for it. You see, it takes power away from Congress and the White House.

L) The left wing media’s unhinged attacks on the GOP have no basis in actual facts or reality, but that has never stopped them before.

M) This is gonna drive the liberals in Congress absolutely nuts. For as long as we can remember, they have written bills in such a manner that they cannot be understood by mere non-lawyers, and their length has discouraged any perusal. This was done in order to hide all sorts of anti-Constitutional bovine excrement. Now, bills will have to be written in simple English, which will make them much shorter as well. We won’t have to pass a bill to see what’s in it!

N) Here is one more reason to start executing lawyers. The Fort Hood shooting happened almost two years ago. Since there were multiple eye witnesses and the muslim terrorist was caught in the act, the Court Martial should have been conducted within a week of the muslim being released from the hospital. The entire proceeding should last approximately one day, including jury deliberations. The penalty phase should have commenced the following day, again lasting maybe one full day. The muslim should have been executed by firing squad within 6 months of the terrorist actions.

O) I could watch this video for a week and never tire of it.

P) Now THIS is just plain weird, but it figgers that the Dems would financially support such behavior.

Q) Two of the biggest supporters of Obamacare during its journey through Congress were the unions and the AARP. Who makes up the vast majority of entities getting waivers from Obamacare, since it sucks so much? Why that would be the unions and AARP. If it was such a good idea, why don’t they support its implementation? Maybe because it has never been about making America’s health care better, but rather it has always been about control of a large part of the economy and of political power.

R) Lindsey Graham is upset at Fox News. It seems that they keep referring to his amnesty plans as amnesty plans.

S) Barack Obama publicly joked about how his Administration deals with pirates, but he did so right after giving a bunch of plea deals to pirates instead of bullets to their brain housing groups.

T) It may be wrong, but The Crawfish does think this is funny. I looked at ‘em, and was disappointed in the quality.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“Thanking Obama for killing Bin Laden is like going into McDonalds and thanking Ronald McDonald for the hamburger. It's the guy cooking the burger that should get the credit, not the clown.” Quote courtesy of Gray Ghost

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