You know we've had a wild week when this is the 2nd column of the week and I don't even have room for stories like the State of Noo Yawk declaring itself to be subservient to the 1% of the population that chooses to be homosexual.
A) They just don’t get it. Senate Democrats are actually arguing for MORE spending while deficit reduction talks are ongoing. Turban Durbin actually mewled, “Get the recovery right before you get in this deficit-cutting mode. Get people back to work. Let's start moving in that direction.” What D-i-c-k doesn’t seem to understand is a) Only by cutting the deficit and bringing about economic stability will we ever create new jobs, and b) the American people know that government spending does NOTHING to create jobs and they want the deficit reduced. How’d the “stimulus” work out? He must have completely missed the big news of last November. Insanity can be defined as trying the same thing over and over expecting the result to change, and the Dim-ocrats have it in spades.
B) Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke followed up Turban’s idiocy by saying “I don’t think sharp immediate cuts in the deficit would bring more jobs.” This was said right around the time that he admitted to being completely clueless as to why the economy is all jacked up. Believers in Keynesian economic theory are always clueless when their actions cause economic downturns, as they do each and every time they put Keynesian theories into operation.
C) Tax Cheat Timmy was questioned about the Democrats’ plan to raise taxes on small business owners, and he responded that those tax hikes are necessary, otherwise “you have to shrink the overall size of government programs.” Well, DUH! Timmy, that is part of the objective! We MUST shrink the government down to its Constitutional limits!
D) The FBI is investigating this incident, which means the Affirmative Action Attorney General will probably prosecute the Border Patrol agents involved. The agents did exactly what they should have done and would be given medals if President Crawfish was in office. Anybody trying to cross our border illegally should be apprehended and sent back. If they can’t be caught or if they resist, deadly force should be used. If the so-called government of Mexico has a problem, they can deploy to keep their people on their own side of the border. FIX YOUR OWN COUNTRY!
E) Then again, we know such activities will be opposed by the Democrats, since Dear Leader just issued an Executive Order banning the deportation of just about any illegal that has been in the US for any length of time. Hmmm…issuing an order for a federal agency to violate federal laws…is that an impeachable offense?
F) Our priorities must be really screwed up when we have 28,500 members of our armed forces guarding the South Korean border, and less than 1,200 troops guarding the American southern border. The Korean border is a whopping 248 kilometers in length, compared to 3,169 kilometers for the US-Mexico border. About 212,000 invaders were captured last year in just the Tucson sector of our border. 212,000 is just the number that we CAUGHT! How many North Korean invaders crossed the Korean border last year? Not even 1,000. The defensive positions along the Korean DMZ need to be replicated along the entire length of our southern border.
G) Here is your basic liberal idiot. A Pulitzer Prize winning reporter for Washington Post and New York Times Magazine has publicly disclosed that he is an illegal, and showed off a treasure trove of falsified identification documents while claiming to be “undocumented”. He previously disclosed that he is a homosexual, meaning that he is a quadruple-protected minority (Filipino, homo, member of the left-wing extremist press, illegal), so the Obama Administration will back him 100% and probably not only give him amnesty, but grant him citizenship. Since he admitted it publicly, the proper action would be to have him already deported by the time my readers see this paragraph. The editor of the Than Franthithco Chronicle has even confirmed that this illegal is now being financially supported by the Tides Foundation, a far-left anti-American outfit under the control of George Soros. He also confirmed in his SF Chronicle blog article (linked in the Malkin column) that the training editor of the Washington Post knew he had hired an illegal and kept it secret. This means that the Tides Foundation and the WaPo have violated federal laws by harboring an illegal alien and knowingly employing one, and should be prosecuted.
H) Do you REALLY want to know the root causes of our housing crisis? Representative Issa authored this report, which gives you puh-lenty of background into the disaster we now face. I challenge any liberal to dispute a single thing Issa says.
I) Walter E. Williams is an absolute gem of an author and occasional conservative talk show guest host. Every time I hear him or read one of his columns, I have to wonder why I don’t feature him more often. His newest column, “America’s New Racists” is a definite must-read.
J) What happens when envirowackos get control of the Army Corps of Engineers and the council that controls the Missouri River? The priorities “go from flood control, facilitation of commercial traffic, and recreation to habitat restoration, wetlands preservation, and culturally sensitive and sustainable biodiversity.” A wildlife biologist on the council said that this year’s impending Biblical floods (no liberal will use that term, of course) this year will be a “prolonged headache for small towns and farmers along its path, but a boon for endangered species.” Yep, you got it. The envirowackos don’t care about what happens to millions of humans as long as they can help endangered species.
K) The left wingnuts who attacked Neal Boortz over his Atlanta comments are in heavy violation of their tax-exempt status, says a former White House Councel. Media Matters for America has engaged in a “war” with Fox News, intending to disrupt their business. They are also running media “boot camps” to promote Democratic Party policies. It is time for them to get sued!
L) Thanks to the double-jeopardy laws, OJ Simpson is free to admit that he killed Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman, and might be set to do so in an interview with Orca…er, Oprah. (How much is she paying for THAT interview???) His story is that he acted in self-defense, and is somewhat plausible, although once he disarmed her; the self-defense part is out the window. 95% of non-black America has known from Day One that he did it, but it will finally bring closure to one of the most-followed crime stories in American history. I guess he finally DID find the real killer after searching the golf courses of America.
M) So, are women actually losers in the recent Wal-Mart SCOTUS decision, or are the real losers the trial lawyers? Okay, since most of us believe that the trial lawyers are ALWAYS a bunch of losers, let me rephrase that. Did the women involved in the case lose anything in reality, or was it the trial lawyers who lost the most in this case?
N) Geert Wilders was acquitted on all hate-crime charges in the Netherlands. This is a major victory for freedom of speech in Europe and the ability of non-muslims to point out the truth about the death cult known as Islam. The muzzies are miffed, but when are they not?
O) The unindicted co-conspirators from the Holy Land Foundation support of terrorist groups trial, CAIR, has its panties in a wad (even more than usual). The IRS noticed that CAIR had not filed the proper paperwork for a few years and thus revoked their tax-exempt status. The Crawfish would prefer to see them lose all legal status within our nation and get named as a sponsor of terrorism, which they clearly are. Ya know, once upon a time I was told that my columns had shown up on one of CAIR’s “watch” lists. Wonder if they still consider me an evil, antagonizing infidel, or if I’m losing my touch.
P) Back in the bad ol’ days of the Soviet Union, when someone fell out of favor or had information that the State didn’t want to ever be revealed, that person was killed in a plane crash. This week, five Russian scientists who assisted in the development of Iran’s nuclear plant died in a plane crash. Coincidence?
Q) Neal Boortz is a genius. He managed to watch the same movie that I did recently, but he made a connection with one of the characters that is simply brilliant.
R) Tax Cheat Timmy was asked about the qualifications of Christine Lagarde to head up the International Monetary Fund, and said that she is “exceptionally talented.” Coming from Timmy, that means she is a completely clueless and incompetent socialist.
S) Oh. My. Gawd. I…uh…er…I have no idea how to comment on this story or what exactly to think about the people involved.
T) Billy Jeff Clinton just sold missile guidance technology to the Chinese. Under the rule of King Bu’raq al Obama, the Chinese are just buying up our country! Hat tip to co-worker Ed for this link.
U) Here’s your latest update from the Religion of Peace. Two muslim terrorists were plotting to attack the Seattle Military Entrance Processing Station, and the attached day care center. They were inspired by the Fort Hood shooter, and figured that three attackers with better weapons could kill a LOT more people and inspire other muslims to follow suit. Yes, this is a war of Islam vs. the rest of the world, and we had better admit it! Since these guys were going to commit an act of war, and they are not members of a recognized government’s military, they are illegal enemy combatants, and have no legal rights according to the Geneva Accords. They can be executed without any kind of trial if our military deems it appropriate.
V) George Soros and his socialist friends have quietly gone about getting their people elected as Secretary of State on eleven battleground states, so that THEY oversee the 2012 elections. They accuse the eeeevilll Republicans of “deciding who can vote and whose votes will count”, which means that the Republicans wouldn’t let people vote 5 times or vote at all if they were felons or illegal aliens, both key Democrat constituent groups. Prepare for massive voter fraud in 2012.
W) The left-wing treehuggers have their nits in a twit over the New Mexico and Arizona wildfires. It seems that some endangered species are being negatively affected by the fires. The Crawfish suggests that the EPA send in its crack team of lawyers with cease-and-desist orders against the flames immediately. If those idjuts would allow logging and grazing, not to mention brush clearing and occasional back burning, these fires would be smaller and much easier to contain and extinguish.
X) Chicago’s Police Superintendant is miffed about federal gun laws, presumably that 2nd Amendment thingy, that “facilitate the flow of illegal firearms into our urban centers, across this country, that are killing black and brown children.” Yes, he says our gun laws are RAAAAAAAAAACIST!!!! First of all, our laws do not facilitate anything but the confiscation of “illegal firearms”, since by your own admission those firearms are “illegal”. Secondly, do not blame the weapons. Blame the black and brown CRIMINALS who are killing the black and brown children. Oh my, is The Crawfish being RAAAAAACIST because he points out that well over 90% of black and brown murder victims are murdered by black or brown criminals? Oh, and notice that this moron was speaking at St. Sabina Catholic Church, the racist church formerly run by “Father” Pfleger, the buddy of Jeremiah Wrong and Bu’raq al-Obama.
Y) Okay, time for my John McEnroe moment. “You cannot be serious!” MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell actually let former Queen of the House Red Nanny P-Lousy get away with this statement: “The U.S. government cannot default on its debt, largely accrued by President George W. Bush.” That one surviving brain cell of her’s must be getting lonely. For Nanny’s information, Barack Obama has added more to the debt in 2.5 years than W did in 8, with those last two being the spend-crazy years of a Congress run by Harry Reid and some botox bimbo from Than Franthithco.
Z) A mall in Houston has had enough of the dumb-bass style of “sagging” and has banned pants hanging low enough to show the underwear. An “urban youth” is upset about it and says he won’t shop there anymore. Of course, his “shopping” at the mall probably involved just hanging around with his fellow “saggers” and maybe buying a soda in the food court. If these people knew that the style came from the homosexual prison culture to allow easy access, they probably would stop “sagging”. Then again, if they had fathers in their lives, they wouldn’t be “sagging” either! The malls in the Jacksonville, FL, area banned “sagging” years ago. Let’s face it, folks…these punks showing off their boxers is offensive and has no place in our society. Do we really wonder why the employment numbers for black youth are so low?
AA) Speaking of “urban youth”, here is a story from South Carolina that, according to Jesse Be The Jackson, the Not-So-Reverend Al, and all of the other race pimps, simply cannot happen. A mob of blacks might be accused of lynching a white boy. The young man is in critical condition after being severely beaten and robbed by a mob of 8 blacks, 7 of which are juveniles.
If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.
“Do not ever let anyone claim to be a true American patriot, if they ever attempt to separate religion from politics.”-George Washington
The Constitution of the United States