8-25-2010 The Weekly Claw

Another week goes by, and I’m still employed, so I guess it was a somewhat good one. Well, it was if you didn’t pay attention to the news or the economy…

A tip of The Crawfish’s hat goes to GunnyG for finding this story. The Affirmative Action Attorney General’s Injustice Department is looking for some Ebonics specialists to work in the DEA’s Atlanta office.

The children that are running this Administration are trying to screw up the military yet again. This time, they are contemplating disestablishing a major Navy command, the US Second Fleet. Second Fleet is responsible for training, qualifying, and certifying all naval units that deploy to the Atlantic, Mediterranean, and the Middle East. They are also responsible for the western part of the Atlantic Ocean, including the American east coast.

Once upon a time, this was my favorite cartoon series. Too bad “The Mighty Heroes” only ran for a couple of years and was never released in syndication by Terrytunes.

For those of you who say that our government cannot and will not issue directives to make amnesty for illegal aliens a reality, I have some special news for ya. They’re already doing it. The federal government is moving to dismiss deportation cases against illegals if they have no other criminal records, saying that they only have the capacity to deport 4% of the non-drybacks per year. Sorry, but we have the capacity to deport each and every one within the next month if The Chosen One would give the order.

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals has once again brought up one of The Crawfish’s pet peeves. They have ruled that memorial crosses along the highways of Utah violate the “establishment clause” of the First Amendment, and therefore must be removed. The “establishment clause” reads, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” What part of the State of Utah putting up crosses to memorialize fallen members of their Highway Patrol is Congress making a law? The 10th Circuit needs to learn how to read.

Here’s an interesting headline on Drudge…”24% Think Obama Muslim”. Since it is a poll and article from Time, they say that these people “mistakenly” believe that the muslim is a muslim. The Crawfish says that the headline should be “76% in denial of the truth”. Even the Noo Yawk Slimes admits that Obama was born a muslim and that converting away from Islam is the worst crime in the muslim world (comes with an automatic death sentence), yet somehow the muslim world supports him. If he had indeed truthfully left Islam, they would be calling for his death, not welcoming him.

Am I missing something here? Late in the last century, the Democratic Party officially took the stance that lying under oath was a perfectly legitimate thing for a President to do. Every single Democrat in the Senate voted to acquit William Jefferson Clinton in his impeachment trial. Now those same Democrats are charging a baseball player with felony counts of lying to Congress, and he could go to federal prison if found guilty. Lying under oath in court is okay, but lying to Congress about a friggin’ game that Congress has no business involving itself in is worth sending a man to prison?

When is a bridge not a bridge? The answer is that an unguarded bridge that crosses the Rio Grande River, allowing illegals to bypass the part of the border fence that actually has been built, is called a “grade control structure” by liberals. I guess this is kinda like trying to decide what the meaning of the word “is” is…

These words come from one of the leaders of Code Pink, and were directed to the Gold Star Mothers, “Your son deserved to die in Iraq if he was stupid enough to go over there.” This Code Pink leader, Jodie Evans, is one of the head fundraisers for Jerry Brown’s current campaign for the Governorship in California. In effect, that makes her statement the official position of Jerry Brown, unless he publicly repudiates it, fires Evans from her position, and returns every pink penny that she raised for him. Californians, let’em have it!

Senator Michael Bennet (D-Colorado) might have the only functioning brain cells in the Senate Democratic Caucus. “We have managed to acquire $13 trillion of debt on our balance sheet,” he said. “In my view we have nothing to show for it.” Too bad the rest of his party doesn’t agree.

Compare those words to the words of Senator Max Baucus (D-Montana, where men are men, women are men, and sheep are scared) concerning the 2000+ page Obamacare bill, which he helped write. “I don’t think you want me to waste my time to read every page of the health care bill. You know why? It’s statutory language. We hire experts.” Huh? YOU SENATORS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING IT, but you don’t know how to interpret the language that you wrote? You need experts to translate your own words and yet you expect Americans to understand and love the bill? You expect doctors to understand it? Why don’t you resign from the job that is evidently too tough for you and go “enjoy” some sheep.

Gaffes Biden is back in campaign mode. Now he says of the GOP and Tea Party folks, “They offer [a] combination of the old failed policies of the [George W.] Bush administration and a new set of draconian ideas basically on steroids.” That’s funny, since most of the policies of the Bush Administration are rejected by the Tea Party supporters, and the Tea Party “draconian ideas” are based on the actual words of the Constitution. Gaffes also says that the Democrats “know the government isn't going to heal the economy.” Well, then why are all of the Democrats’ policies based on the government running every single aspect of life in America? He also says that there’s “no doubt we're moving in the right direction” on a day when the Commerce Department announced that new home sales had dropped to their lowest rate in history. Joe, you are indeed a moron.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence.

-Constitution of the United States, Article IV, Section 4.

Quote suggested by Peppermint2 in response to the Obama-Holder-Judge Bolden opposition of Arizona’s anti-illegal immigrant law

The Constitution of the United States