Friday, February 12, 2010

2-12-2010 The Weekend Claw

The Crawfish is somewhat back in action. The kids and I have made our move back home to Texas, and we now have a house and garage full of boxes. A good number of boxes have been emptied, but only by one person (I wonder who that could be…). I’m still looking for the box that has my medical records (to file for VA disability) and the box that has daughter #1’s clarinet (told her to put it in her room, but she left it in the basement, and those boxes take up 50% of the garage right now!). Oh well, I’ve got a lot of news to spit out, a job to look for, insurance to update, a car to get inspected, etc, so let’s get this done.

We start out this edition of The Claw with some sad news. Captain Phil Harris of the fishing vessel “Cornelia Marie” and the Discovery Channel series “Deadliest Catch” had a big stroke on January 29th, and
he passed away on February 9th. The stroke happened while in port at St. Paul Island during the opilio crab (aka snow crab) season.

Fred Morrison also died this week. You’ve probably never heard of him. He was a fighter pilot in World War II, but that wasn’t his claim to fame. You see, Fred invented something that became an instant hit in the late 50s, and its popularity has soared from there…
the Frisbee.

Another death from this week was NOT the cause of sadness ‘round here. Congresscritter
Jack “ABSCAM” Murtha died after a botched surgery at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda. If our military medical folks screw up on a Congressman, what do you think they do with lowly enlisted folks?

The Crawfish figgered out another reason why arabs (supposedly) don’t drink. They don’t need beer-goggles to be
unpleasantly surprised!

The Senate had to cancel another
Glo-Bull Warming hearing this week due to the fourth large snow dump of the year. Senator Jim DeMint tweeted that it would keep snowing in DC until The Prophet Algoracle cried “uncle”.

The record for a single day snowfall in Fort Worth-Dallas WAS 7.8 inches until yesterday. The Crawfish and his kids were treated to (officially)
12.5 inches of Glo-Bull Warming in a metro area that has no snowplows and where snow shovels are unknown. Another city that rarely gets snow was popped with its heaviest snowfall in 24 years…Rome. Don’t look for a Papal invite to Algoracle anytime soon.

Fifteen months ago, noted intellectual Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
wrote a column about how Glo-Bull Warming meant there was no more winter weather in DC. When this was pointed out recently by the Washington Examiner, all Junior could spout off was, “Idiots on the right like Rush [Limbaugh] like to point to any cold-weather anomalies as proof that global warming doesn’t exist.” No, Little Bobby, those of us on the right like to point out all actual scientific evidence and easily seen phenomena that prove how the climate is controlled more by that big fireball 93,000,000 miles away than by man.

Another one of the leftover unbathed hippies from the 60s showed his stoooopidity in regards to the Glo-Bull Warming debate. Rajendra Pachauri is the head of the UN International Panel on Climate Change. I think all of the snow has driven him over the edge. How else can you explain what he says in
this story? People who know the truth about the climate should rub asbestos on their faces every day?

If you don’t understand why it is a really bad thing that the Obama Administration has the lowest percentage of appointees who came from the private sector, consider this. One of his top economic advisors now says that
raising taxes is GOOD for job creation. That’s like saying cutting the wings off of an airplane will make it fly better. Mo-rons.

The Chosen One is going to lift the ban on heterophobes in the military. He’s not doing this in order to make our military better. Far from it! He’s doing it to weaken our military and to appease another far-left special interest group. Over 1,160 retired flag officers and the current Commandant of the Marine Corps are still in opposition to this move, which will cause a
weakening of discipline and a lowering of morale in the armed forces. I remember the plunging morale when $lick Willie Clinton changed the ban to “Don’t ask, don’t tell”, and I’m glad to not have to go through that again.

Guess who is gonna get nearly $4,000,000,000.00 handed to them if Obama’s budget proposals get passed.
If you guessed ACORN, go to the head of the class.

Representative Patrick Kennedy has decided
not to run for re-election this fall. His spokesman said that the decision had nothing to do with his sorry poll numbers or the anti-Democrat mood of the country, which in true Kennedy fashion was a lie. This means that for the first time since 1947 there won’t be a Kennedy family member holding elected office. Maybe that’s a sign that our government will start turning back to its Constitutional limits.

Ahhhhhhh yes,
the Religion of Peace strikes again. It is beyond time to send them all back to their sandboxes and realize we are in a religious war.

The Administration of His Eminence Sultan Bu’raq al Obama pointedly refuses to acknowledge the religious aspects of the war of Islam vs the world. The Department of Homeland Security
released a 108 page document describing the threats to our nation, and while it does use the terms “extremist”, “terrorist”, and “al Qaeda”, it does not have a single mention of “Islam”, “Islamic”, or “Islamist”.

The Followers of the Pedophilic False Prophet have already given us the Underwear Bomber. Is the
Booby Bomber next in line?

How’s this for a headline, “
Airport Body Scanners Violate the Teachings of Islam Says Muslim Group”? Yes, that’s because the scanners might detect the anti-Infidel bombs your so-called religion is carrying aboard aircraft. If you don’t like the rules, don’t fly!

The Crawfish now presents a reason for all non-muslims to boycott Target stores. Target teamed up with one of their suppliers to sell globes that did not include the nation of Israel, but rather
included the nation of Palestine. They initially claimed that it was a space-saving measure, until it was pointed out that “Palestine” has a lot more letters than “Israel”.

The non-drybacks in California are up in arms over
the comments of a Santa Clarita councilman. The councilman recently spoke at a rally, and quoted Theodore Roosevelt’s statements about there being a place in America for only one flag and one language. Then he said that if his standing up for America makes people think he’s a racist, then he is “a proud racist.” Sounds like a good American to me.

The Donkeys are all scared that the 2010 elections will be a bloodbath for them in the wake of the Obamacare fiasco, kinda like 1994 after Hillary!care. His Majesty doesn’t believe so. He believes that
his personality, popularity, and charisma are going to get all of those Donkeys re-elected. The Anointed One even said, “Well, the big difference here and in ’94 was you’ve got me.” What an egotistical putz.

FACT: Barack Obama and Joe Biden opposed the 2003 invasion of Iraq, even though it was mandated by the 1991 ceasefire accords.
FACT: Barack Obama and Joe Biden opposed the “Surge” in Iraq.
Barack Obama and Joe Biden are claiming credit for the victory in Iraq.
If you opposed something repeatedly, then how can you claim it to be one of your “great achievements”? Of course, the liberal media will be happy to give them the credit.

The Donkeys in the House and Senate, lead by Upchuck Schumer, have decided to
try to override the Supreme Court’s recent decision on campaign finance reform. Showing their disdain of all rules, they plan to put a lot of new rules in place to force corporation to jump through many hoops to run political ads (unless that corporation is CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, PBS, NPR, the Noo Yawk Slimes, the El Lay Slimes…), and to ensure extremely low advertising rates for candidates who wish to respond to the corporate ads. They are in a real rush to push this legislation through. Upchuck the Gun Grabber even said, “If we don't act quickly, the court's ruling will have an immediate and disastrous impact on the 2010 elections.” Allow me to translate: “If we don’t get this done, we’re gonna lose even more seats than the polls are showing now!”

Regular Claw contributor “beachmom” sent in
this video of Texas Governor Rick Perry hosting a few members of the alternative media at a firing range. Now that The Crawfish is home, can THIS member of the alternative media get an invite?

Rasmussen reports that
75% of Americans are angry about the current government policies. That’s CURRENT policies, folks. The Administration will blame Bush in 5…4…3…

…2…1…NOW! On Thursday, the Administration issued a report that
blamed Bush for high federal deficits. The deficit in 2009, which belonged 100% to Obama, Reid, and Pelosi, was over four times as high as any deficit in our history, but that’s because of Bush? The Bovine Excrement Meter is pegged yet again.

The Chinese are upset that we have sold military equipment to Taiwan again, and are
threatening to use their US debt securities as a weapon against us. The Crawfish wonders how long we must play this charade. The People’s Republic of China and Taiwan are completely separate nations, and have been since the communists chased the Nationalists off of the mainland. I don’t care that the PRC claims to own Taiwan. They don’t. It’s time for the nations of the world to acknowledge reality and recognize Taiwan’s status as an independent nation.

As if you didn’t need any more convincing that The Chosen One’s brains are all located in TOTUS, just
check out the insults he gives to some of the best of the best, US Navy Corpsmen. All hail TOTUS!!!!

The media keeps trying to portray the Tea Party Movement as a fringe group of anti-government radicals, seperatists, and loons, with 9-11 Truthers and Obama Birthers at their core. That portrayal is part of the liberal agenda to belittle the Tea Party Movement and preserve Democrat majorities. So what are the Tea Partiers all about? Mark Davis of WBAP 820 AM in Fort Worth-Dallas (and now nationally on the ABC Radio Network) and the Dallas Morning News
knows exactly who we are.

Whenever someone says that all opposition to The Chosen One is race-based, show them
this short essay, which was written immediately after the 2008 election by a black woman who happens to be an Associate Professor of Sociology at Illinois State University and a continuing Visiting Scholar at Stanford.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." -G. K. Chesterton

The Constitution of the United States


  1. Be careful at the airport when you see the 44DD's on the burkha clad gals. Houston, we may have a problem.

    Would the Arab's change their disposition if we dyed all of their sand pink? Saw some at WalllyWorld. How could they stay mad, surrounded by pink sand?


  2. Ever consider..maybe.. the Naval Hospital didn't screw up?? Remember "The Navy takes care of its own."
    Rush was wondering where Al Gore is these days. Seems he has gone into hiding...
    "Don't ask, don't tell." I think they should scrap the UCMJ and go back to the old Navy "Rocks and Shoals"...30 years at Portsmouth and a kick for homosexual activities. Aboard or ashore.
    Kennedy, Dodd and a lot of others are not running. I believe they are just falling back to regroup. They see the mood of the country and realize they can run again much easier if they were not defeated in '10.
    Airport body scanners violate Islam? Simple. Quit flying. Geez, what's so hard about figuring that out?
    "Well the difference between now and 1994 is now you have me." Yeah. See what he says on 11/3/10.
    Tawian WAS recognized as an independent nation and not only had a seat at the UN but held the same veto powers as US, USSR, GB and the rest of the WWII Allies. Then bit by bit the UN was filled by communist dictators from every 2 bit country in the world outnumbering the free world countries and voted Taiwan out and Red China in...and then they did a victory dance at the General assembly....

  3. Gar,
    paint the sand pink? I've heard of high schools painting the visitor locker rooms pink to weaken them....

  4. Buck,
    a) That would require an officer who isn't in 24/7 CYA mode.
    b) Haven't seen him on milk cartons, yet.
    c) Old-fashioned blanket parties?
    d) And that's why they're pushing so hard now, because they know the GOP won't be able to reverse anything that gets passed. Meanwhile, they retire the Old Guard and train a new crop.
    e) Anything the Infidels do violates Islam.
    f) The difference between 94 and now is that Clinton learned from mistakes and was smart enough to tack to the right when necessary.
    g) And we caved by never formally recognizing them as seperate. When they still had a seat, THEY were recognized as the only Chinese government. Why is it so hard to see that the island and the mainland are NOT the same nation?

  5. Speaking of Taiwan
    I spent quite a few weeks patrolling the Formosa Straits.
    Most folks figured we were there to keep Red China from attacking Formosa. Nah. We were there to try to keep the ChiNat Navy from starting WWIII. They had a bunch of LST's and would sneak around us, go in close to the mainland and slug it out with ChiCom shore batteries. They would pull into Keelung shot all to schidt, refit and go out again. Said they were protecting Quemoy and Matsu but I doubt it.

  6. Buck,
    almost like trying to keep peace between Shi'ia and Sunni?

  7. Glad to see you back in action. Will do my usual thing in the next exciting Claw. Jamie McMurray wins the Daytona 500 !!! YYYYEEEEEHHHHAAAAWWWW! Always liked that guy,thought Roush treated him like sh!t.

  8. clyde,
    June Bug almost got him at the end! Too bad Smoke finished so far back.

  9. Glad you're back!!! So how's life back in Snow Bird Country? Liked the essay by the black lady... reminds me of what we were all saying back in 2008. With all that frozen rain you must have had lots of fun making snow angels!

    Don't you think Jack A$$ would be a better term for the left loons?

    Good luck on the job search. You need to get one of those special invites w/ the Governor, then you can let him know he should hire you as his Constitutional Expert or better yet Superintendent of Public Instruction.

  10. Heterophobes probably aren't a problem in the heat of the battlefield. The down time and the time in barracks, etc., well, that's a different story.
    Hillary used to talk to Eleanor Roosevelt in the Rose Garden. I guess Barry talks to FDR out there too.
    I love how Barry's administration wants to take credit for Iraq after 7 yrs over there and only one in office but the huge expansion of govt. and spending that he has done over the past yr? Still Bush's fault.
    Here in New England, Patrick Kennedy is known as "Patches". Howie Carr piles on him all the time and he's so funny about it.
    I think the inventor of the Frisbee will be missed more than Abascam Murtha.

    It's nice to see you back Crawfish!
    By the way, one of my boys downloaded a game and then uninstalled it. Unfortunately, it had installed a wicked trojan. If you ever have trouble with malware or viruses, go to It's free and awesome!!

  11. I'm surprised they haven't blamed the record snows on bush yet...

    I'm also wondering if they'll change the name of the San Andeas Fault to Bush's Fault.

    By the way, you're living in a great state. I hope to make my way down south in the future. I believe it's the best state with the most money put away for emergencies, such as now, in the US.

  12. Columbia River,
    well....the kids enjoyed the snow while it lasted.

  13. b-mom,
    imagine a submarine, where there aren't enough bunks for all hands as is. You've got to share with someone who is on the opposite schedule from you.
    Barry talks to Marx, Lenin, Stalin, and Ayatollah Khomeini out there.
    They OPPOSED the war and SUPPORTED all of the deficit spending, but claim credit for the war and blame Bush for the spending. They live in an alternate universe.
    The stuff my daughter cleaned out of the catbox this morning will be missed more than Murtha.

  14. Eric,
    not San Andreas...but the one under Haiti.

  15. As I have said before, the US Marine guards at the Gates of Heaven do not have to worry about Murtha. By his own confessions he was a liar, a taker of bribes, and worse.

    And though I am ashamed and ask God's forgiveness for saying so, "Murtha is dead. Good." (With a hat tip to Bette Davis.)

    The Democrat Rats like Patrick Kennedy are leaving the sinking ship of state (i.e., the USS O'Vomit) pretty fast now Crawfish. Check out my site for the latest count.

  16. Ghost,
    and Evan Bayh continues the trend!

  17. Yes Craw, that sub scenario is one of the "etc" pieces. The only time it wouldn't make a difference is on the battlefield while being shot at. Every other time, well, that's a different story. It's just not a good idea. They obviously have an agenda that is not beneficial to the military.

  18. I personally have known a few of those people in the Navy. As long as they were on shore duty, minding their own business, and not pushing that agenda, there was no problem at all, especially if they were good at their job.

    One of them (a friend of mine and Mrs. Crawfish) is a bulldyke lesbian who was an airframer and hydraulics technician. She was also a volunteer firefighter and EMT out in town. If you were a friend to her, there's nobody else you'd want to have at your back in a bad part of town. She was a self-described ink addict, with over 30 tattoos. If she wasn't too blasted herself, she could always be found making sure that the drunks at the bar or the party were taken care of so nobody got in trouble or hurt. When she brought her girlfriend to the Navy Ball, nobody cared, because she was a real good person and a good Sailor. She left the Navy and became a firefighter on a couple of military bases.

  19. Yeah, I was thinking of when the San Andreas fault moves causing a huge earthquake, they'll blame it on bush.

    I didn't even think of the fault under Haiti!



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