Friday, December 18, 2009

12-18-09 The Weekend Claw

Well, it’s time to stand by for snow shoveling up here in the suburbs of Filthadelphia. We’re expecting 7-10 inches of Glo-Bull Warming on Saturday.

A year or two ago, The Prophet Algoracle went to London for a conference of The Gorons, and as a result London got its earliest snowfall ever. This year, His Majesty King Bur’aq al Obama I goes to Copenhagen for a conference of The Gorons and Copenhagen
gets smacked with a heavy snow. Could somebody at a much higher paygrade than The Crawfish (or King Bur’aq, or The Prophet Algoracle) be sending them a message that HE, not THEY, is in charge of weather?

ClimateGate is getting even bigger. Now the Russians are saying that the British Glo-Bull Warming activist “scientists”
changed Russian temperature data in order to make Glo-Bull Warming appear much greater than reality.

His Majesty has declared a “
meaningful breakthough” in Copenhagen. Too bad he’ll need at least 7 Republicans to sign onto whatever he presents to the Senate. T’ain’t gonna happen, McGee.

Daily Express in England gives us 100 reasons that Glo-Bull Warming is not man-made.

No wonder Barack Obama and the Democrats want to impose Crrap-And-Tax in the USA. In Europe, the carbon trading system is under the control of
organized crime. Since the Democrats are effectively an arm of organized crime in the US, along with the unions, they fully support that idea!

Speaking of organized crime and The Chicago Way, the White House is so eager to get Obamacare passed that they have, according to sources but denied by Rahm “Ballerina” Emanuel, threatened to put
Offutt Air Force Base on the BRAC list if Senator Nelson doesn’t vote for cloture in the Senate. The heck with national security...we’ve got POLITICAL battles to win!

The Hound of All Media, Senator Chuck Schumer (safety tip for all readers: Never get between Upchuck Schumer and a TV camera or a microphone) was in the news this week for giving a hard time to a flight attendant when she directed him to cease using his cell phone on board the aircraft, according to the safety rules of USAir. After he was finally forced to obey the rules that the Great Unwashed gladly follow, Upchuck
called the flight attendant something that won’t get by the censors of most blog sites. (Full disclosure: The Crawfish has a cousin who is a retired flight attendant for a major airline in the US) He was sitting with the UNELECTED junior Senator from Noo Yawk, Kirsten Gillibrand. An unnamed congressional staffer seated behind them heard the exchange and gave the story to Schumer, through a spokesperson, apologized for calling the flight attendant a name and for his other conduct. Gillibrand, being a good Democrat and not knowing that Upchuck had ‘fessed up, lied (a trait of good Democrats) to the media and said Schumer did not use that term at all. Can’t you two get your stories straight?

If you didn’t believe before that the Obama Administration supports those who are traitors against our nation or who oppose us, well we’ve got news for ya. The President has just nominated
Mari Del Carmen Aponte for the Ambassadorship to El Salvador. Ms. Aponte was nominated for a diplomatic post in the past, but was rejected because she had been shacking up with a member of the Cuban intelligence services. When questioned by federal authorities about the matter, she refused to cooperate. Since she has that on her record, and is a former board member of the anti-American group “The Race”, also known as the national Council of La Raza, Bur’aq al Obama sees her as a perfect choice for his Administration.

Liberal Democrats will go to great lengths to find ways to spit in the faces of Christians. No blasphemy is too great for them when they want publicity. Witness what DC Mayor Fenty is up to. He managed to get a heterophobe marriage bill passed in DC, and is going to have the
bill-signing ceremony in a BAPTIST CHURCH! Obviously, even the Baptists of DC are good little liberals that don’t believe in rules, including those from God. The Bible calls homosexuality an “abomination before God” and forbids it, just like the Constitution forbids a lot of what liberals in DC believe in and perpetrate.

Since union teachers are impossible to fire, no matter what their misconduct, it is hardly surprising to see
something like this happen in a Milwaukee elementary school. If this had happened to one of the junior Crawfishes, there’d be some real problems at the school. Hat tip to Poll Katz e-mailer “Ginny”.

The Crawfish is sure that many of his readers have heard by now that our enemies have been hacking into the communications with our drone aircraft. So far, all they’ve been able to do is see what video the unmanned aircraft are sending back to their bases, but eventually they will hack into the control channels. Remember, every single computer tech support call in the world goes to call centers in Pakistan. The military was
warned about this 5 years ago, but they’re just now taking action. When the politicians and senior military folks started saying how drones will bee heavily used in the future, The Crawfish and every other enlisted person with avionics experience or computer knowledge said that our enemies would find ways to override the controls or jam all control signals. It’s not like the technology is very difficult and hasn’t been around for decades or anything. How old is the EA-6B Prowler jamming aircraft?

It’s about time!
Domino’s Pizza is announcing this week that they are changing the recipes of their pizza, with new crusts, new sauce, and a new cheese blend. The Crawfish has only ordered Domino’s once in the past five years because their taste was not anywhere close to the other chains. Heck, I’ve bought frozen pizza from the grocery stores instead of Domino’s for the same reason!

This sounds like something from Tax Cheat Timmy Geithner, Chris “Countrywide” Dodd, or Bawney Fwank. There’s a new credit card out there with an
interest rate that you simply won’t believe.

Townhall blogger “
Flame” sent in an interesting article deciphering the rhetoric and language that The Chosen One uses in speech after speech. The liar is exposed once again.

We have another nominee for The Golden DUH! Award. Brain dead Democrats can’t even write their boondoggle earmarks correctly. Representative James Clyburn (D-Congressional Racist Caucus) tried to get $100,000.00 of federal money for a library in his
South Carolina district. The money’s going to a library in a California town with the same name. The library in South Carolina had only asked for $50,000.00 to upgrade computers and such, but Clyburn doubled the amount and put the wrong state in the earmark.

Sometimes you’ve just gotta shake your head and wonder what alternate universe liberals live in. The Chosen One says that the federal government “
will go bankrupt” unless we spend $2,500,000,000,000.00 on socialist health care. How in the world does spending that kind of money make our debt situation better? Only in the mind of economically-challenged liberals.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“If, from the more wretched parts of the old world, we look at those which are in an advanced stage of improvement, we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude. Invention is continually exercised, to furnish new pretenses for revenues and taxation. It watches prosperity as its prey and permits none to escape without tribute.” – Thomas Paine

The Constitution of the United States


  1. OK, we don't actually have a library per se... , but there are two or three books stored in the bathroom of the Willow Hotel lobby. Will that satisfy the need?

  2. Gar,
    My wife and I have a whole lot of books, and not a lot of places to put them when we move back to Fort Worth. Maybe we could use the money to add a second story to our house and use the current master bedroom as a library/office, complete with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves.

    The Crawfish Science Reading Room!

  3. Too late dude, Jimtown gets the money (Ca.) and it's just about four blocks from my shop so don't get any ideas.

  4. Weekend Whinings,here goes...A) Enjoy that Gorebull warming.All 2 feet of it.We have about an inch here in the PRoAA this morning,you'd swear the way the media freaks are acting,we were getting 2 feet as well.Fear-crazed and panic-stricken. Sheesh. B)EXACTLY right.These deluded fools in Dopenhagen seem to forget just WHO is in charge.Reminds me of the old Parkay ads,where the crone says "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature",along with the thunder,etc. Add to that,it ain't nice to LIE about her as well. C)Amazing reading that report is.The lying s#!tsacks. A QUARTER of the land mass with some of the coldest temps outside a polar region,not even figured in,and they WONDER why we ain't buying the s#!t sandwich they're trying to sell.This whole damn bunch of thieving,lying pusbags need to be strung up.In Siberia.D) No,no. That is "an UNPRECEDENTED and meaningful breakthrough".HUNH?? A "fundamental deadlock in perspectives"? And he thinks HE "WON"? Goddahm.Sounds like a WHOLE lotta nuttin' to me.E)That is an excellent list. The ONLY reason WE need to discount the whole notion is... wait for it..the FRAUDACLE.'Nuff said.F) Does this scam set some kind of record for quickest fraud perpetrated on a nation? If not,it HAS to be close.These hucksters make Madoff-with-the-cash look like a piker.G) Too late. Nelson has been sufficiently knee-capped by Rahmbo. He caved. H) NO.Liars cannot do that. Tell one,you have to tell at least 10 more to keep it close.Too bad they didn't simply toss Chuck U out. At 20,000'.Done us ALL a favor.I) Like he'd put some one HONEST and with America's interests in the spot? C'mon,man,you KNOW better than that.mwahahahahaha. Cont'd...

  5. Gar,
    I might have to apply some Chicago-style pressure.

  6. Weekend part 2...J) It would be justice if the snow accumulation on the roof of that church were to cause a cave-in while the "ceremony" is underway. Teach'em right.K) Looks as if this "teacher" needs to be taught a lesson herself. Like a nice dip in Lake Michigan.That ought to cool her off. Oh,forgot something. With a 2000lb. block tied to her legs,and a dull knife to cut herself loose.L) And here I thought the auto industry moved at a snail's pace.That air around D.C. is bad stuff. Causes all thinking processes to be destroyed.M) A while back,I said there are some stories that light me up. Domino's founder,Tom Monaghan,is one of the biggest pr1cks I know.This cheap b@st@rd,who is trying to buy his way into Heaven,when he started out,sought out the advice of my late father-in-law,who founded the business school at Eastern Mich. Univ. All the F-I-L asked for in return,MANY years later,when the prack was a
    HUGE sucess,was to remember the business school. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. My brother,who was a HVAC contractor in the PRoAA,put a new furnace and ducting in azshat's mother's house,and was STIFFED by good ol'Tom on the bill. Took him 5 years to get the money.When I hear anyone say "Oh,what a GOOD man he is",I want to club'em. To sum up,I would N-E-V-E-R eat one those rotten-azsed pies if my life depended on it.All hail Little Sleazer's!!!N) The sad part of this story is Premier will STILL get some takers. I hear Treasury has applied.O) Good article. We ALREADY knew what a bulls#!t-o-rama Obama is.P) That figures. Clyburn has the sense of a gnat.Now I suppose we'll have to fork over $15,000,000 to build a library to use the $100,000 grant.Not to mention send an extra $1,000,000 to the original recipient. KEEEEEEERRRRRIIIIISSSTTTT. What a maroon. Q) Kind of hard to go anymore broke than we are.China is ALREADY livid over this s#!t. Obama keeps pizsing them off,it's Katy-bar-the-door. Fine steming heap,Craw. Enjoy that shovelling!!

  7. clyde,
    a) 'round here the drivers freak out in rain, but speed up in snow. Mo-rons.
    b) I remember those ads
    c) Proof that this is a political movement, not a scientific one
    d) If he talks gibberish, he thinks he can hypnotize.
    e) Algore wouldn't lie to us!
    f) Bernie did it behind closed doors. They're doing it out in the open
    g) His comments last night weren't definitive. You're probably right, but we'll see.
    h) I find it funny that they can't even lie about this properly
    i) Why promote a good American when you can promote a traitor?

  8. More clyde,
    j) You mean as in the Lord sending another "message"?
    k) Since she's in a union, she's untouchable
    l) You'd think there'd be a least a couple of 'puter geeks in the upper crust crowd.
    m) Give me Pizzaslut or a good local place run by greasy Italians or Greeks. I haven't had Little Squeezers or Mr. Gatti's in years. I wish other companies would do like Papa John's and give that garlic sauce with the pizza. YUM!
    n) By Obalogic, it is a good deal.
    o) His words give him away
    p) More shovel-ready projects?
    q) Has the buffoon ever even balanced a checkbook?

  9. Re: G) Read all about it at Drudge. Nelson got what he wanted,F the rest of the country. No surprize really,at the end of the day,he STILL is a liberal. This is what they do. Sell themselves out,damn the consequences. ANYONE thinking Nelson wouldn't be on board was sadly mistaken.

  10. Bucks comments, via e-mail...(Crawfish replies in parens)
    1. Seems Senator Nelson got on board this morning. (Hope he finds something to not be completely satisfied with until it drives the far left out of the agreement!)
    2. By the number of communists in the Obama administration one can only be left with the conclusion that the man is either a Marxist himself or the biggest fool ever to serve in the Oval Office. (uh...BOTH!)
    3. Homosexuals, I wonder how much longer TH will let that word to be used, signing the bill in a Baptist church proves once again they do not want just to be treated as husband and husband etc. They are screaming their need to be accepted by hetero Americans. The more they are rejected the more immoral their reaction. The more they are rejected the more they attack the religious beliefs in a vulgar and lacivious way. If they believe such spoiled child actions will bring them respect and recognition by the religious community then their logic is as screwed up as their sex lives. (they don't want equality. They want special rights and superiority)
    4. Teacher cut off students braids. What would I do if it were my child? The teacher would be damn lucky if all I did was shave her head. (yup)
    5. With each new weapon introduced the generals and politicians are assured this will be the ultimate weapon. Gatling's gun was supposed to make war so distasteful it would be relegated to history. The airplane was supposed to win wars by itself. Battleships were oceans' supreme fortress. Every time generals and admirals and pols sit back until some enemy proves to them the fallacy of their ideas. But don't worry, General..or Admiral. Somewhere some ET or some AT will come up with a solution to the problem you should have forseen when your weapon became operational. (yup...geeks RULE!)
    6. EA-6B....wasn't that one in my war? (nah, the EA-6A came in at the end, but EA-6B was a mid-70s development)
    7. Don't you remember? VEEP Biden said we had to spend money to keep from going broke.
    (well, we KNOW Joe's an idiot)

  11. clyde,
    now comes the court battles. The Dems just guaranteed a GOP landslide in November.

  12. Crawfish:

    Paul and Storm jingle:

    "If you're finished
    with your Domino's pizza,
    Eat the box because
    it tastes the same.

    Truer words were never spoken (or sung).


    P.S. If my kid's teacher had whacked off her hair, with no consequences, that teacher would have become intimately acquainted with the business end of a metal softball bat. Sure, I would have had to face the consequences, but my daughter would know that her father was willing to go to bat for her.

  13. arik,
    Domino's wasn't bad in the early 80s, but then again what I was also consuming might have altered my perceptions.

    I might not use the bat on the teacher, but the teacher's vehicle would receive a visit.

  14. Obama's insisting we can spend our way to prosperity has the ring of a guest speaker at an AA meeting touting the benefits of drinking yourself to sobriety.

  15. Saltwater,
    that is a very apt comparison.

  16. UpChuck (D for Duma$$) - NYers get what they pay for in their Senators. His a$$ should get beat by the flight attendents husband/boyfriend or especially her Daddy. If that was my daughter, I would plead temporary insanity especially since I am retarded, special ops and show UpChuck how much pain can be created without resorting to Torture.

    Teacher cutting hair - Now is the time for the parents to use the favorite method of the NEA, sue the crap out of the teacher, school, and DA (city); use the charge of assault with a deadly weapon (after all TSA won't allow them on airplanes and schools won't allow children to have them either. After all turn-about is "fair play".

  17. Flame,
    ain't it amazing how Noo Yawkers keep voting for scum like that year after year? Almost as astounding as Taxachusetts voting for Fwank and Kennedy.

    I approve of the response to the teacher.

  18. I love it. God has a sense of humor. Blizzards and cold temps wherever Globull warming conferences happen. Obama had to leave early to escape a blizzard, only to find himself in another in DC! Too bad Obama and his liberal cronies believe themselves above God.

  19. Eric,
    it happens everywhere Gore goes in the past 2 or 3 winters. Sooner or later, someone's gonna take notice!


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