12-22-09 The Weekly Claw

The Claw will not be publishing this coming Friday. In spite of Dingy Harry’s desire to have a major vote late on Christmas Eve, The Crawfish has better things to do that night, like assemble and/or wrap a bunch of stuff for the smaller Crawfishes and celebrate the birthday of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Remember the reason for the season, folks.

The Filthadelphia area hates me. How else can you explain how my first winter being stationed here saw the biggest snowstorm in area history (January 7-8, 1996) and my last winter here sees the 2nd biggest snowstorm in area history, and by far the biggest ever in December. Yo Algore! Glo-Bull Warm THIS!

As of December 9th, the Rasmussen polls show that 50% of likely voters and 60% of mainstream voters say climate change is primarily due to long-term planetary trends, while only 34% believe the lies of the Prophet Algoracle. On the other hand, 80% of the political class believes the inconvenient lies. In related polling, 66% of Americans want SMALLER government with fewer services and less taxes, with only 22% wanting Democrat-marxist-socialism with bigger and more intrusive government together with the higher taxes it would require. Do Dingy Harry Reid and Queen of the House Red Nanny P-Lousy care what the public thinks? To quote Red Nanny, “Are you serious?”

Y’all are gonna absolutely love the latest proposal of how to deal with the global warming that, in reality, stopped a decade ago. Nathan Myhrvold, the former technology officer of Microsoft, wants to use balloons to carry a hose into the upper atmosphere and pump out sulfer particles up there to block solar radiation. What makes this dingbat think we’re going to trust someone from Microsoft, the makers of computer systems that crash constantly? Can you say VISAT?

It seems that some people don’t appreciate the new LED Christmas lights, preferring the old incandescent glass bulbs. While that may be okay for nostalgia, The Crawfish definitely prefers the energy efficient and longer lasting LED bulbs. One advantage is that the LED bulbs hold their color year after year because they are much cooler. Blue, red, and green regular lights see their color wash out after a couple of years, and don’t even get me started on purple lights that are more pink than purple (a necessity for Halloween time). I’m just waiting for LED bulbs for inside the home, to replace those mercury-filled curly bulbs that we’re now using for their efficiency.

What? You oppose Obamacare? You racist pig!

THIS is what you get with socialist health care. Why are the liberals pushing for Obamacare? Certainly it is not to increase the quality or price of health care.

“I don't know if there's a senator that doesn't have something in this bill that was important to them, and if they don't have something in it important to them, then it doesn't speak well of them.” That quote comes from Dingy Harry Reid. That’s kinda like saying “I had Lady Liberty tied up and on Rohypnol in my office and if your Senator didn’t take advantage of her you should question his manhood.” He’s BRAGGING that he allowed every Democrat Senator to put whatever they wanted in the bill, and damn the Constitution and the opinions of the American people.

One of the key talking points in the liberals’ war on quality health care is that the eeeeeeevilllllll insurance companies sometimes deny coverage. Too bad that the government-run Medicare program denies coverage at a greater rate than the insurance companies do. Truth sux, libs.

Continuing with the truth sux department, another of the liberal talking points is that the GOP has not put forth any plans of their own. The truth is that the GOP has done so time and again, but the Democrats refuse to even allow committee discussion. Here’s the website for the GOP’s House version of a health care bill and how it compares to the fiasco the anti-Constitutionalists are forcing down our throats.

“On average, an American dies from lack of health insurance every 10 minutes.” Yes, Dingy Harry Reid has declared lack of insurance to be the greatest cause of death in our nation. The fact that such over-the-top lies are allowed to go unchallenged in our media is exceedingly disturbing. Prepare for the biggest boondoggle in American history, unless legal challenges regarding the Constitutionality of this pile of dung can be mounted and succeed. One challenge should be to the sweetheart deal that Traitor Ben got for Nebraska. That state’s Medicaid bills will be permanently paid by the federal government, unlike those of the other 49 states. Is that the Constitutionally required equality under the law?

Senator DeMint points out that Dingy Harry is definitely breaking Senate rules (which take a 2/3 vote to do) and probably the Constitution itself by inserting a provision in his Obamacare bill that forbids any future Congress from repealing the Independent Medicare Advisory Board section of the bill. His provision states that “it shall not be in order in the senate or the house of representatives to consider any bill, resolution, amendment, or conference report that would repeal or otherwise change this subsection.” Not only is this subsection a violation of Senate rules and the Constitution, but it also proves that Dingy Harry is severely grammatically challenged, as the Senate and the House of Representatives are supposed to be capitalized when used as proper nouns. So not only do we have proof that Reid doesn’t have an 8th grade civics education (knowledge of the Constitution), but that he is also missing a 5th grade grammar education.

What kinds of threats did the White House and Senator Reid levy against Senator Ben Nelson? Nelson was against the Obamacare bill as long as it didn’t prohibit taxpayer funds for abortions, but the word is that the Reid bill still contains a fee that all insurance premiums must contain to pay for abortions. In other words, the government subsidized health plans will still cover abortion. The plan will still cost $2,500,000,000,000.00 over the first ten years that it is in place, not counting the first 3 years during which the plan hasn’t started but taxes are levied to pay for it, and the only reason it isn’t $3 TRILLION is that it does what the Democrats have always falsely accused the GOP of doing. It CUTS MEDICARE by $500,000,000,000.00, although it is expanding Medicare coverage. How in the )@#*$@^ do you cut a program by $500,000,000,000.00 while expanding it at the same time?

Michelle (***sigh***) Malkin has come up with Obamacare Bribe List #2 to go along with the original bribe list from November. Yes, the only way to pass this garbage is to literally buy votes. Since the American people are opposed to this bill by a 61% to 32% margin by polls from last week, this crop of Senators and Congresscritters is cutting their own throats to pass this bullroar. They’re hoping that the eventual payoff comes from all of the good little leeches of society who, starting in 2015, will start getting everything for FREEFREEFREE and will be permanent Democrat voters.

The Wall Street Journal has a fantastic expose on the Obamacare bill and process. The title is “Change Nobody Believes In” and ain’t that the truth.

Dan Calabrese of North Star National weighs in with a simple combination of an observation and a question. Since the Obamacare bill would start raising taxes immediately to pay for benefits years down the line, what are they going to do with the money in the meantime?

It seems that ABC’s Cokie Roberts has been sniffing the Obamacare cokie. A simple reality check would tell her that the more Americans find out about the bills, the more they oppose them.

Senior White House Advisor David “Weaselface” Axelrod seems to think Obamacare won’t be a negative for the Dems in November’s elections, which shows that he is in definite need of a urinalysis. He thinks that the polls will look good for the Donkeys a year from now “this wave of insurance reforms are implemented.” Someone needs to inform this idjut that no reforms are going to be implemented in the next year, just taxes raised.

Chicago on the Potomac is indeed a reality. During a closed-door meeting between Congressional Democrats and the President, King Bur’aq al Obama told one Congresscritter from Oregon who has not voted the party line on some important issues, “Don’t think we’re not keeping score, brother.”

There’s even a Florida branch office of Chicago on the Potomac. Democrat moonbat Congresscritter Alan Grayson has sent a letter to the Affirmative Action Attorney General demanding that conservative activist Angie Langley be arrested and imprisoned for running a website that criticizes him and is raising money for his defeat. The website is www.mycongressmanisnuts.com and so far has raised $3,725.00, which must really scare an incumbent Democrat. On one hand, I actually support Grayson in one way. The website name is defamatory. Saying Grayson is nuts is an insult to all people out there who really are nuts. Visit that site and become a fan of theirs on Facebook or Twitter.

The Imperial Federal Gummint is now imposing a new restriction upon the airlines, saying that they cannot have passengers sitting in a plane on the tarmac for over 3 hours. Earth to the feds: the airlines are trying to abide by the schedules that they have given to the FAA. The aircraft leave their gates at specified times, and from then on are in the hands of the FAA’s air traffic controllers. Therefore, it is the GOVERNMENT that is causing the delays, so put the restrictions on the FAA, not the airlines, you dweebs.

“(T)his has the hand of the divine written over it. It's almost as if God wanted to be involved.” Those are the words of Daisy Khan, executive director of the American Society for Muslim Advancement. What she’s talking about is a house of terrorist planning…..er…”worship” being built by the Followers of the Pedophilic False Prophet in a building that was seriously damaged by a landing gear assembly from one of the aircraft that hit the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Yes, since this building was damaged by the crashes, it can be considered part of Ground Zero, a holy shrine of Islamic terrorism. They even admit that they will have a souvenir shop, calling it “merchandising options”. The spokespeople say that it will be all about reconciliation and teaching that Islam is a peaceful religion and that all violence is because of the United States. Since we all know that the Koran COMMANDS that all non-muslims must be converted, enslaved, or put to the sword, we must point out in this instance that the Koran specifically states that it is good to lie to the Infidel about your plans to destroy him. A tip of The Crawfish’s hat goes to RJ of Paul Revere’s Riders for this story.

Merry Christmas to all of the Islamic terrorists out there. His Majesty King Bur’aq al Obama I has decided to send a dozen of your friends back home to Afghanistan, Somalia, and Yemen to be released back into the wild. Once again, he proves which side he’s on in this war.

We’ll close with some greetings that were sent to me by a number of readers, but first by Townhall blogger “INTHENOW”:
To my liberal friends:Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, family status, or sexual orientation of the wishee. To my conservative friends:Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

And with that, may you all have a blessed CHRISTmas or Happy Hanukkah, and remember the reason for the season.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“If, from the more wretched parts of the old world, we look at those which are in an advanced stage of improvement, we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude. Invention is continually exercised, to furnish new pretenses for revenues and taxation. It watches prosperity as its prey and permits none to escape without tribute.” – Thomas Paine

The Constitution of the United States