12-11-09 The Weekend Claw

What has been the top news story over the past week? Has it been ClimateGate? Of course not, since the lame stream media is still covering for the left wingnuts. Was it the International Fraud Conference in Copenhagen? Close, but no banana. Was it Obamacare? Nah. They’re trying to keep those shenanigans under wraps. The Nobel Peace Price presentation? Nope. If you said Tiger Woods and all of the women who may or may not be associated with him, WE HAVE A WINNER! In case you’re wonderin’, no The Crawfish doesn’t care about Tiger Woods’ private life. I’m just a-wonderin’ how many of those women are going to pose for Playboy, Penthouse, and the like…and when those issues are comin’ out. Well, one of my Navy jobs has been Quality Assurance!

In my Tuesday edition, I highlighted how $264,000.00+ has been spent on each job supposedly created by the “stimulus”, and now I’ve found out why that number is so high. The lead pollster for the Hillary! campaign, Mark Penn, got a nice payoff. “Federal records show that $5.97 million from the $787 billion stimulus helped preserve three jobs at Burson-Marsteller, the global public-relations and communications firm headed by Penn.” That’s $2,000,000.00 per job saved! No federal money should be spent on people who think they’re worth anywhere near that amount of money per year, especially if their job has nothing to do with the real economy. Political hacks don’t have real jobs. They can be (and are already) paid by the contributions a campaign gets. That’s what those donations are for!

We also discussed the panty-chasing ways of Senator Max Baucus, of Obamacare fame. Not only did he try to get his girlfriend a new job as US Attorney for Montana, but it has now come out that he gave her a $14,000.00 raise and took her on a government-paid vacation to Asia and the Middle East, even though she wasn’t one of his foreign policy advisors. Will there be an ethics investigation? Not as long as the Democrats are in control of the Senate! People of Montana, send this jassack to the unemployment line ASAP!

When it comes to our allies of only 64 years and our somewhat allies in the Middle East, His Majesty King Barack I is more than happy to bow to their royalty. Compare that to how he treats the royalty of longtime allies who have actually fought major wars with us. Queen Elizabeth got a pat on the back from the First Fashion Disaster, and now the King of Norway is getting snubbed by The Chosen One. In fact, most of the activities that the Nobel Peace Prize winner normally partakes in are getting blown off by Barack Obama. It is kinda fitting. Since he won the award for no apparent reason, there’s no apparent reason why he should attend the events.

His Nobel Prize acceptance speech was another exercise in Bush and America bashing, but I’ll deal with that in a special issue of The Claw this weekend devoted entirely to the speech. Stand by to buckle your seat belts for that one.

In the 2008 elections, the Democrats promised to stop all of the earmarks and wasteful spending that had been seen during the Bush Administration. Since this was a series of promises by Democrats to stop wasteful spending, we all knew it was nothing but lies, and we were correct. So far this year, spending bills coming out of Congress have included 7,577 earmarks for over $6,000,000,000.00. They will gladly spend $13,500,000.00 for a bus lane on Wilshire Boulevard in El Lay (an obviously proper use of FEDERAL funds if I ever saw one), but they shortchange state and local prisons by $70,000,000.00 compared to last year for funds to lock up illegals who have been caught breaking laws in addition to immigration laws.

Since the early part of his campaign in 2008, Barack Obama has been fear mongering with the American people. Everything is a crisis. We had to pass the $800,000,000,000.00 “stimulus” immediately or the world would end. We’ve got to socialize health care immediately or all Americans will die. Crrap-and-Tax must get passed tout suite or the sky will burn and the oceans boil…and if we don’t pass it the EPA will institute it through their own interpretation of the Clean Air Act of 1970. Remember, this is the Administration whose motto is “Never let a crisis go to waste!” Anyway, The Anointed One actually had the gall to tell Republican House leaders on Wednesday that the GOP needs to “stop trying to frighten the American people.” WHAT????

Despite all of the actual scientific proof to the contrary, the Secretary General of the Useless Nations came out with this statement: “Nothing that has come out in the public as a result of the recent email hackings has cast doubt on the basic scientific message on climate change and that message is quite clear -- that climate change is happening much, much faster than we realized and we human beings are the primary cause.” Remember that nothing shall come between the UN and their agenda, especially not real science.

The Prophet Algoracle dismisses the ClimateGate e-mails as insignificant, especially since, as he claims, they are all at least 10 years old. So sorry, Mr. Inconvenient Truth, but some of those e-mails are less than one MONTH old. Your fraud is showing.

All of the pro-man-made global warming scientific data was supposedly “peer reviewed”, but when all of the “peers” are in on the scam because that’s where they get all of their money, it becomes what Dan Calabrese of North Star National calls the call-your-own-fouls-basketball-game system for scientists.

The Associated Press is clearly taking sides in the issue (I know, big surprise). They are completely ignoring reality and going with whatever the White House wants them to say. Dan Calabrese of North Star National says that AP stands for All Propaganda.

What does Sarahcuda have to say about the whole Glo-Bull Warming and ClimateGate situation? I’m glad you asked. She has put out a fine editorial column entitled “Copenhagen’s Political Science” and it is well worth the read. For someone who was blasted during the campaign as a lightweight on the issues, she seems to know a lot more about this issue than Obama, Biden, P-Lousy, Reid, Hoyer, Schumer, and the rest of the Democrats in DC combined.

The Prophet Algoracle didn’t like what Palin had to say. He replied that global warming “a principle in physics. It’s like gravity. It exists.” She’s a “denier”. The science is settled. That brought about a couple of really good replies from Sarahcuda: “Perhaps he’s right. Climate change is like gravity – a naturally occurring phenomenon that existed long before, and will exist long after, any governmental attempts to affect it” and “Vice President Gore, the Climategate scandal exists. You might even say that it’s sort of like gravity: you simply can’t deny it.” She also noted that just because there’s been 20 years of study by scientists, that doesn’t mean that the science is settled, especially since the lead scientists are all implicated in the falsifying of the findings.

Meanwhile, video has surfaced from a House hearing in March of 2007, in which Representative Joe Barton (TX-6) gets the Goracle to admit that the historical record shows carbon dioxide not leading to warming. In fact, warming leads to increased CO2 levels, with the CO2 levels lagging temperature increases by 200-1000 years. That means we have no need to punish America with Crrap-and-Tax.

The American section of the Copenhagen is quite different from the low-key, demure displays of the past. To quote the commercials from Overstock.com, “It’s All About the O!” In support of this effort, The One now says that Glo-Bull Warming is a matter of national security. IT’S AN EMERGENCY! Just another “crisis” for this Administration to take advantage of.

Some REAL scientists are having their own conference in Copenhagen, and they have proof that global climate change and temperature fluctuation is caused by…wait for it…wait…trumpet fanfare please…solar activity!

Since the EPA made its determination that bad breath…er, carbon dioxide is a hazardous gas, the White House has come out and told Congress that they had better act on regulating CO2 before the EPA does so in a manner that would be harmful to business. If you don’t see this as a pre-planned course of action with the intention of forcing through action that is designed to wreck American businesses, you are one naïve puppy. The Wall Street Journal’s editorial writers certainly noticed what is happening.

If you don’t believe me when it comes to the impending disaster of Obamacare, maybe you’ll believe the Dean and CEO of Johns Hopkins Medicine. Who knows health care better, him or the Unholy Troika of Obama, Reid, and P-Lousy?

Dingy Harry has said that the Obamacare bill is THE most pressing issue in the world, and that the Senate would have to work continually, including weekends, to get it done before Christmas…er, sorry, the Winter Celebration. Well, now Dingy has other plans. You see, things ain’t lookin’ so good for his re-election in 2010, so he has scheduled a $1,000.00+ per plate fundraiser this weekend to boost his chances. This means he needs to have the Senate take the weekend off, which he previously said he wouldn’t let happen in Obamacare hadn’t passed. Oh, and by the way, the fundraiser is in NEW ORLEANS! I thought N’awlins was still in deep financial doo-doo and needed all sorts of extra federal spending, but they’re good enough to have a big fundraiser? Why is he doing his fundraising in Louisiana when he is a Senator from Nevada? That’s one campaign finance law I’d love to see changed. Only people who are legal to vote for a candidate should be allowed to contribute to that candidate.

If you didn’t understand that the Democrats in our nation believe in a completely different set of moral values than those traditionally held by Americans, Christians, and Jews, then The Crawfish has found yet another example for your education. Diane “MilCon” Feinstein (Jassack-Californication) says that it is “morally correct” to fund abortion with tax dollars taken from pro-life Americans.

If your family is deeply in debt, do you cut back spending or do you open up 45 more credit card accounts and max them out? The Democrats have decided that they need more credit cards. They want to raise the federal debt ceiling by $1,800,000,000,000.00 right now. Why do they feel this sudden urge? First of all, it is the holiday season, so lots of folks aren’t paying attention to news like that. Secondly, they want to get it done now so they don’t have to raise the limit right before the 2010 elections. If they get it done now, the voters won’t remember in November. House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer actually said “We’ve incurred this debt. We have to pay our bills”, but this has nothing to do with paying the bills. This is just putting us deeper in debt, so we can pay more on interest every year.

Tuesday’s edition featured a snippet of Obamindoctrination of children in public schools. Well, it’s getting worse. This time the indoctrination isn’t about Obama, but rather that the US is completely evil, especially those devils known as white men, and marxism is the answer. The head of this program being released by the History Channel is a long-noted anti-American marxist by the name of Howard Zinn. If this kind of stuff doesn’t make you want to blow up all of Hollyweird, I don’t know what will.

Is this a slap in the face of all conservatives or what? At the annual White House Christmas Party, some of the cookies were a blatant endorsement of a bunch of lawbreakers that have been major supporters of Barack Obama dating back to his community organizer days. The cookies were ACORNs!

The chutzpah of the Kennedy family is out of the box again. Despite their penchants for drunkenness, rape, adultery, and abortion promotion, the family is now lecturing Catholic bishops on how to be good Catholics.

Here’s the latest update from the Followers of the Pedophilic False Prophet. More muslims from America joining the jihad overseas. Their imams here in the states should be immediately arrested and deported.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“Demagoguery in the pursuit of bigger government is no vice. Bipartisanship in the pursuit of socialism is no virtue.” –Barry Goldwater

The Constitution of the United States