Wednesday, October 13, 2010

10-13-2010 The Weekly Claw

We start off this week’s news and entertainment compilation with some fantastic news. As The Crawfish puts the finishing touches on this edition, the 33 trapped miners in Chile are being rescued. See what happens when you turn an American company loose on a project and don’t have four tons of governmental red tape and 75% taxes!

Back in February, the Saints won the Super Bowl. Now the Texas Rangers have won a playoff series and will play the Noo Yawk Evil Empire (aka the Yankees) for the American League pennant. I’m guessing that the temperature in the infernal regions is about negative 60 Celcius right now.

Exactly what do Democrats think of the Constitution of the United States? Well, Barack Obama says that it reflects a “fundamental flaw in our nation that continues to this day.” Jan Schakowsky believes that the Constitution doesn’t matter, since most of what the Democrats have done over the years isn’t allowed by it, but they’ve done it anyway. Chicagoland Democrats, enemies of the Constitution.

A federal judge has ruled that the Obamacare provision that requires all Americans to purchase health insurance is fine and dandy. There’s nothing in the Constitution that prevents it from being legal. The Tenth Amendment does not exist. These are not the droids you are looking for. Sorry, but the liberal judge version of the Jedi Mind Trick ain’t gonna work on Planet Earth. Of course, did we really expect any other kind of ruling from an arab judge who is an active member of the Interfaith Council for Racial Justice (Meeeechigan branch, which means it is the Sharia for America and Death to Infidels Council) and president of the Arab American Bar Association (Allahu Akhbar! Sharia should be the Law of the Land!)? He’s also an appointee of “I did not have sexual relations with that woman…Miss Lewinsky”, so he probably doesn’t understand what “is” is.

Another out of control judge, this time in Mississippi, threw a lawyer in jail for a few hours for refusing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in his courtroom. Basic Google searches on Chancellor Talmadge Littlejohn didn’t produce a definitive biography on the man, and a Mississippi voting ballot from 2002 seem to show all judges of his nature to be independents, but that didn’t stop the left wingnuts from immediately proclaiming him to be a “teabagger”. Now, The Crawfish isn’t necessarily against throwing lawyers in jail, but the courts have repeatedly made it clear that school kids can’t be forced to recite the Pledge, so how can this “Chancellor” force a lawyer to do it? Does this remind you of the attitude of another “Chancellor”? One from the 1930s, maybe? Here’s a hint…the title he took after “Chancellor” was “Fuhrer”.

The socialists in the Democratic Party and the media, but I repeat myself, don’t want you to be able to read this report. It shows exactly what the leech society is all about. This welfare queen has five kids by four different sperm donors and has never worked a day in her life. She gets about $45,900.00 per year after taxes in government benefits (using the Pound to Dollar exchange rate as of 10/8/2010). What exactly is her motivation to become a productive member of society?

Meanwhile, how has socialism worked in England? They don’t call it the Jobless Capital of Europe for nothing!

How far to the lunatic left is the Unholy Troika of Obama-Reid-Pelosi? Consider this statement by Red Nanny, “It is the biggest bang for the buck when you do food stamps and unemployment insurance. The biggest bang for the buck.” If unemployment and food stamps were such a boon to the economy, our economic numbers would be fantastic since we have record numbers of people on those programs. That one functioning brain cell of hers must be getting lonely.

Sultan Bu’raq al Obama is promising Democrat victory in November if the people who believe in that hopey-changey thing will just get out and vote. Nancy P-Lousy is promising the same thing. Either they are extremely delusional or they know of some serious vote fraud schemes that are underway.

Last month, we covered the story about the liberal state of Wisconsin deliberately suppressing the (mostly conservative) military vote. Now we find that the liberal state of Noo Yawk has also deliberately violated federal election law by not sending out ballots to our overseas military personnel in time for them to get their ballots, fill ‘em out, and send them back before the election. This is after the Affirmative Action Attorney General’s Injustice Department ILLEGALLY gave them a waiver to go ahead and break that law by shaving off 1/3 of the minimum time for ballots to be returned. Liberals hate losing elections almost as much as they hate our military personnel.

Queen Elizabeth II has been a fantastic monarch for the Brits. It really is too bad that her son is such a complete moron and hypocrite. Diana may have been a lefty who was somewhat out of touch with reality on occasion, but Chuck is a full-blown loon.

One of the top physicists in the United States has resigned from the American Physical Society and the University of California Santa Barbara. The reason? The fraud that is Mad-Made Glo-Bull Warming. Dr. Hal Lewis flatly states that any scientist who promotes or believes the “scam” that is “climate change” is simply corrupted by the trillions of dollars being thrown at scientists by The Prophet Algoracle and his minions.

We all know how the liberals love to scream about how the Bush Administration short-changed N’awlins after Katrina, as if over $400,000.00 per household is getting short-changed, but do y’all know how The Chosen One, along with his media minions, has played politics with natural disasters? Early in 2010, the upper Midwest was ravaged by record flooding, but the media was silent. Air Force One didn’t go to the Dakotas. There were no massive federal aid packages. Why? Maybe because the victims were 98% white and mostly in places that don’t tend to give people like Obama their votes. A couple of weeks ago, Texas got hammered by a tropical storm, with record flooding in many areas. Governor Perry requested federal disaster declarations for 13 counties. The request was denied, but it is being appealed. Why would that request be denied? Maybe because Rick Perry is a Republican, and almost all of the Congressional Districts involved are currently held by the GOP.

How do you get the endorsement of the radical feminists groups in our country? It is really simple. You just call a female government official a “whore” and be a Democrat. Any member of NOW who professes to be supportive of women has just lost that last single shred of credibility.

These guys are worse than the Clintons! Y’all remember how Billy Jeff and Hitlery! used the IRS to audit everyone who dared to oppose them publicly. Well, the current crop of Dim-ocrats in the Senate and the White House is threatening the same thing. They have also gone overboard trying to accuse the US Chamber of Commerce of using foreign money to pay for election oriented advertisements, despite having absolutely zero evidence. They say that it is up to the Chamber to prove that they are innocent, not up to them to prove the Chamber guilty, and the media is having none of it as evidenced by this interview with Bob Schieffer and this one with Jack Tapper prove. Top Republicans have blasted them for their “baseless” lies and their “abuse of power.” If they really want to get into foreign donations in a political campaign, why not turn the clock back to 2008, when most of Obama’s contributions came from untraceable sources and at least one of its campaign phone banks was located in the Gaza Strip! If you want, we can go back even further to the Billy Jeff and Algoracle days, with Buddhist monks, “no controlling legal authority”, Charlie Trie, Johnny Huang, and Chinese money that was paid back in the form of missile guidance technology from Loral Corporation (previously not allowed for export, but Billy Jeff changed that).

We will finish off this edition with an update on YOUR money being spent in ways that YOU would never approve of. How do y’all feel about $900,000,000.00 being sent to a terrorist organization by Imam Obama in the name of peace in the Middle East? Until the muslims realize that the rightful home of the so-called palestinians is the nation that most of them came from (Jordan), and that Israel not only has a right to exist, but also has the right to do whatever they want in their own nation, which includes the Gaza Strip, the Golan Heights, and the West Bank, then 99.99 cents of every dollar that goes to a so-called palestinian organization is going straight to terrorists.

The Crawfish requests that you make your comments on this column at my edition published by Red White Blue News. Thanx.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

"The precept of the Koran is perpetual war against all who deny that Mohamed is the prophet of God. The vanquished may purchase their lives, by the payment of tribute; the victorious may be appeased by a false and delusive promise of peace; and the faithful follower of the prophet may submit to the imperious necessities of defeat: but the command to propagate the Moslem creed by the sword is always obligatory, when it can be made effective. The commands of the prophet may be performed alike, by fraud, or by force." John Quincy Adams

The Constitution of the United States


  1. Craw,

    DESPICABLE is the word that sums up how the leftards have treated the military this election cycle. Not to mention the BJ Bubba appointee in Fagifornicate negating DADT. ANOTHER libtard who has yet to read the Constitution.

    Oh sorry, that didn't come out right, sounded like mindless Obama Youth Zombies...

    Tasty spread Mud Bug
    OK, well first things first, I'm spitting this one out.... Texas beat the Rays... poohey!
    OK, now we're past that...
    BTW, am I the only one noticing this, our insurance rates went up 35% over last year. That means if we kept the same policy we had last year, a family policy would have been about $20,000.00 a year. Thank you sir may I have another?
    Did you knotice the British tart's children had about $7,000.00 worth of electronics?
    Grayson? what a piece of monkey dung! Remember, he was one of the ones behind the fake TEA Party candidates in Florida. He's a habitual liar, he's a shyster, con man, and I'll be laughing at him when he looses.
    You know how much you and I think alike, first thing that came to my mind, when is Obama going to disclose his 2008 campaign donors...

    Tasty Claw my friend!
    Thanks for the spread.
    PS, if you're reading this It worked!

  3. Kudos to the people of Chile,who showed the world HOW to solve a crisis.Get the BEST the world has to offer. Unlike the passel of IDIOTS that stood around playing pocket pool while the Gulf was being innudated with oil. C'MON Nov.!!!Good stuff,Craw. Cya

  4. Craw,

    I gotta laugh at the jug-eared clown in England. He and Barry must be related.

  5. good news about Chile--as far as the Palistinians go they will never be satisfied untill all of Israels land falls--I have a few Bible verses for them!!


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