1-19-2010 The Weekly Claw

Okay, okay. I know. The Cowboys played like a middle school team against the Vikings. Maybe that’ll help Jerry fire Wade Phillips. In the meantime…GEAUX SAINTS!

Besides the Haiti situation and the Taxachusetts special election, the news wires were a bit on the quiet side this weekend and Monday, so you don’t get my usual long column.

His Emminence Sultan Bu’raq al Obama is scared of The Crawfish. You don’t believe me? How else do you explain how he announces that he will give his State of the Union spin…er, address on January 27th, right after I announce that I won’t be posting any columns that week and maybe not the week after. Coincidence? I think not.

The Obama-Pelosi-Reid Recession is still hurting America in a big way. Ordinary Americans are having to sacrifice more than they have in their lives, with the only exceptions being those who went through the Great Depression. Over 10% is still officially out of work, with another estimated 7-8% having stopped looking for work. So how do King Louis and Marie Antoinette…excuse me, Barry and Shelly, show their solidarity with the people? They’ve hosted 187 parties and 11 open houses at their new digs in DC. Yes, that’s a party every 1.95 days over the first 365 days of their reign. Barry really likes being President, as long as it doesn’t involve BEING President.

Martha Coakley has not only been trying to channel Teddythedrunk (D-Chappaquiddick) on the campaign trail, but now she’s imitating Joe Biden with her gaffes and sheer stoooopidity. Meanwhile, Kennedy’s nephew Patrick thinks her name is Marcia, and all of her supporters believe that her problems in this election are all George W. Bush’s fault. Don’t they know who’s been in charge of the House and Senate for the past three years?

I know this is hard for Americans to believe, but liberals and Democrats support cheating in elections both here and overseas (such as Hugo Chavez’s first election and last year’s Iranian elections). MSNBC now officially endorses cheating in elections to prevent Republicans from getting elected.

Last week it looked like at least the Vice President had determined that abiding by the campaign pledges of openness and transparency might be a good idea, especially since even the left wing press has started to notice. He even met with the chief of transparency in economic recovery. The meeting was closed to the press.

Looks like some Pakis have their head diapers wrapped just a wee bit too tight. Insulting Christianity and sawing the heads off of non-muslims is just fine, but a cartoon that rightfully notes the militant tendencies of Islam is one of the worst evils of man?

Hugo the Red strikes again. In the wake of his devaluation of Venezuela’s currency, he accused a company that is Colombian and French owned of raising their prices in order to not lose money on every sale. “I order that we develop a dossier and prepare a new law to take over the Exito chain,” he declared. Yes, he wants to take over a company owned by others, and has declared that he will change his own nation’s laws if he needs to. Who does he think he is? A Democrat?

Some people are just plain stoooopid. Celebrutard Heidi Montag recently had TEN plastic surgery procedures. Here’s the before/after comparison pics. She looks a lot better in the BEFORE side. Besides, who needs DDD boobs? Imagine what those will look like when she hits 50. Eeeeeeewwwww!

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which is the UN group that got The Prophet Algoracle his Nobel Prize, is being forced to retract some of the information that filled the report which was the basis of the Nobel nomination. The section regarding Himalayan glaciers was based upon speculation instead of scientific study, and has been shown to be false.

Peter Orszag of the White House Office of Management and Budget has let go with another whopper. He actually says that inefficiency in government is due to the government workers having old, slow computers at their desks. Sorry, Petey, but the levels upon levels of bureaucracy and government employee unions have a lot more to do with the inefficiency of government. On top of that, government agencies have spent $199,000,000,000.00+ on computers in the past three years. For that amount, they had better have the absolute best computers available!

The Crawfish is a bit busy these days getting ready to move, looking for a job, prepping my retirement ceremony, getting everything done in order to retire from the military, etc. I will probably not post any columns during the final week of January and the first week of February as I deal with the movers here and when I get home to Texas.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The Utopian schemes of leveling [re-distribution of the wealth] and a community of goods [central ownership of the means of production and distribution], are as visionary and impractical as those which vest all property in the Crown. [These ideas] are arbitrary, despotic, and, in our government, unconstitutional.”– Samuel Adams

The Constitution of the United States