Tuesday, January 19, 2010

1-19-2010 The Weekly Claw

Okay, okay. I know. The Cowboys played like a middle school team against the Vikings. Maybe that’ll help Jerry fire Wade Phillips. In the meantime…GEAUX SAINTS!

Besides the Haiti situation and the Taxachusetts special election, the news wires were a bit on the quiet side this weekend and Monday, so you don’t get my usual long column.

His Emminence Sultan Bu’raq al Obama is scared of The Crawfish. You don’t believe me? How else do you explain how he announces that he will give his State of the Union spin…er, address on
January 27th, right after I announce that I won’t be posting any columns that week and maybe not the week after. Coincidence? I think not.

The Obama-Pelosi-Reid Recession is still hurting America in a big way. Ordinary Americans are having to sacrifice more than they have in their lives, with the only exceptions being those who went through the Great Depression. Over 10% is still officially out of work, with another estimated 7-8% having stopped looking for work. So how do King Louis and Marie Antoinette…excuse me, Barry and Shelly, show their solidarity with the people? They’ve
hosted 187 parties and 11 open houses at their new digs in DC. Yes, that’s a party every 1.95 days over the first 365 days of their reign. Barry really likes being President, as long as it doesn’t involve BEING President.

Martha Coakley has not only been trying to channel Teddythedrunk (D-Chappaquiddick) on the campaign trail, but now she’s
imitating Joe Biden with her gaffes and sheer stoooopidity. Meanwhile, Kennedy’s nephew Patrick thinks her name is Marcia, and all of her supporters believe that her problems in this election are all George W. Bush’s fault. Don’t they know who’s been in charge of the House and Senate for the past three years?

I know this is hard for Americans to believe, but liberals and Democrats support cheating in elections both here and overseas (such as Hugo Chavez’s first election and last year’s Iranian elections).
MSNBC now officially endorses cheating in elections to prevent Republicans from getting elected.

Last week it looked like at least the Vice President had determined that abiding by the campaign pledges of openness and transparency might be a good idea, especially since even the left wing press has started to notice. He even met with the chief of transparency in economic recovery. The
meeting was closed to the press.

Looks like some Pakis
have their head diapers wrapped just a wee bit too tight. Insulting Christianity and sawing the heads off of non-muslims is just fine, but a cartoon that rightfully notes the militant tendencies of Islam is one of the worst evils of man?

Hugo the Red strikes again. In the wake of his devaluation of Venezuela’s currency, he accused a company that is Colombian and French owned of raising their prices in order to not lose money on every sale. “I order that we develop a dossier and prepare a new law to take over the Exito chain,” he declared. Yes,
he wants to take over a company owned by others, and has declared that he will change his own nation’s laws if he needs to. Who does he think he is? A Democrat?

Some people are just plain stoooopid. Celebrutard Heidi Montag recently had
TEN plastic surgery procedures. Here’s the before/after comparison pics. She looks a lot better in the BEFORE side. Besides, who needs DDD boobs? Imagine what those will look like when she hits 50. Eeeeeeewwwww!

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which is the UN group that got The Prophet Algoracle his Nobel Prize, is being
forced to retract some of the information that filled the report which was the basis of the Nobel nomination. The section regarding Himalayan glaciers was based upon speculation instead of scientific study, and has been shown to be false.

Peter Orszag of the White House Office of Management and Budget has let go with another whopper. He actually says that inefficiency in government is due to the government workers having old, slow computers at their desks. Sorry, Petey, but the levels upon levels of bureaucracy and government employee unions have a lot more to do with the inefficiency of government. On top of that, government agencies have
spent $199,000,000,000.00+ on computers in the past three years. For that amount, they had better have the absolute best computers available!

The Crawfish is a bit busy these days getting ready to move, looking for a job, prepping my retirement ceremony, getting everything done in order to retire from the military, etc. I will probably not post any columns during the final week of January and the first week of February as I deal with the movers here and when I get home to Texas.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The Utopian schemes of leveling [re-distribution of the wealth] and a community of goods [central ownership of the means of production and distribution], are as visionary and impractical as those which vest all property in the Crown. [These ideas] are arbitrary, despotic, and, in our government, unconstitutional.”– Samuel Adams

The Constitution of the United States


  1. Another great column Crawfish, especially with all you have going on. Too bad you will be on writing vacation what with today's election and all.

    Good luck with the retirement ceremony, the movers, the move and getting settled back home in TX!! Looking forward to your next column.

    Don't forget to post pictures of the retirement ceremony!

    Let the Revolution Continue!

  2. CR,
    As long as I get a job soon, 2010 looks like it will be a pretty good year after all.

  3. BROWN WON! Time to take on health care. America has spoken. Reid and Pelosi are also in trouble. Oh, the possibilities of getting the liberals out! I think Brown will encourage regular young politicians who value principles and fiscal responsibility to take a stand and run. America had Brown's back, and we will have their backs.

    No wonder MSNBC is being blown out by Fox. MSNBC is so full of angry liberals they probably need doctors in the building in case of sudden high blood pressure problems.

  4. Craw...congrats on the retirement and good luck with the move and job hunt. Looking forward to the return of your weekly.

  5. Crawfish,

    Good one as usual. Come back refreshed and ready to ROLL!

  6. Nationalization of foreign assets is nothing new. Mexico's national petroleum company used to belong to an American oil company...forget which one.

    "inefficiency in government is due to government workers having old, slow computers at their desks."
    Uh, I worked with bureaucrats 40 years ago, before computers showed up on employees' desks. I guess back then it could be attributed to slow Remingtons.

  7. From RME KRNL, an old soldier, to what I am sure is a younger swabbie, congrats on your retirement and thank you for your service to our country. Good luck on the move, a new job and getting resettled.

    And I can tell you, retirement is more a case of easing back, not easing up. Remember, it's better to wear out than it is to rust out.

  8. Flame writes: Good article here: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/lscott/2010/01/20/one-year-gone-george-w-bush-idiot/

    And for those D&Ders, one blogger describing the Dems beloved leader:

    OBAMA (Half-orc Illusionist)
    Alignment: Neutral Evil
    Loyalty: Soros
    Deity: Marx (Alinskyite sect)
    Birthplace: Unknown

    CHA: 18
    DEX: 3 (17 when equips Screen of Prompting)
    INT: 10 (apparent 18/00: Aura of Braininess. INT-13 or save vs. illusion to detect)
    WIS: 3
    CON: Yes.
    EGO: Infinite

    Special abilities and equipment:

    Screen of Prompting as above.
    Aura of Braininess as above (V,S- only requires handwaving )
    Mass Hypnotism
    Deck of Race Cards (1d4 damage to Conservatives (any race)).
    Columns of Styrofoam
    Can summon Ghost of Writing ("Ayres", Lv 3 Undead).
    Mace of Bushbashing (-5 to all saving throws vs. illusion or deception).
    Merdas Touch (everything he handles turns to crap).
    Scrolls of Job Destruction
    Geas: Compels him to bow and apologize to all Evil characters ranked Lord or above


    Michelle Antoinette (Elemental of Bitterness, Hatred and Conspicuous Consumption)
    Wright (Lv 20 Cleric (Chaotic Evil))
    Tim the Geitner (Lv 35 Thief, possesses Magic Mint (Leprechaun Gold only))
    Rahmbo (Assassin)
    Unknown number of Greater Red Demons;
    4x/electoral cycle can summon 2d6x1000 Red-Shirted Goblins of Vote Fabricating and Purple-Shirted Goblins of Vote Suppressing

  9. Claw: look for more Dem retirements after Brown's victory. Then look for many Pubs now deciding to run for many House seats and Senate seats that once were called safe. Castle in Del., Pataki in NY perhaps, Markey's seat in Mass. will be challenged. Toomey in Pa. vs Sestak or Arlen. Even out here in Ca., someone other than Fiori will challenge Babs Boxer the horror.

  10. Eric,
    Reid and P-Lousy are screeching that they will STILL pass Obamacare and that the people's will doesn't matter.

  11. Tim and Gunny,
    I've still got one more column before I disappear for a while. Come back Friday night.

  12. Buck,
    and the Iranians nationalized the Brit/American oil companies.

    Slow Remingtons...good'un!

  13. RME KRNL,
    Thanx, and I doubt I'll be collecting any rust. Even if I were to hit a big lottery, I'd still be pushing forward, as a teacher, writer, or running for Congress.

  14. Flame,
    his Constitution score should be -5 or NO! Other than that, it is pretty spot-on (so sayeth an old D&D'er)

  15. Glenn,
    the whole of Congress is now in play (except P-Lousy's seat). Gonna be a wild year.

  16. Hey, we'll be thinking about you as you prepare for your retirement and move back to Texas. Trust everthing will go smoothly.

    You have a great site here and hope it continues to grow. Personally, I like the little shorter versions. My attention span has waned as I have aged -- haha.

    Keep Sticking to The Pine Cones and don't take the President's rebuff personally. He just can't handle truth.

    Take care, Mrs AL (Always Learning)

  17. Must be nice to get back home, even if it is that radical, ex-country, known as Texas! :)

  18. Mrs AL,
    truth and Dear Leader are polar opposites

  19. Flame,
    you mean that former and possible future independent Republic of Texas?

  20. Crawdaddy,

    Since you and the youngsters just came from snow country, I am wondering if you rented out that shovel packed away in the garage? :)


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