Wednesday, December 29, 2010

12-19-2010 The Weekly Claw

The staff of The Claw hopes that all of y’all had a blessed Christmas. We (okay…I) wish you a wonderful, happy, prosperous New Year.

John Kerry-Heinz has just brought to our attention one of the reasons that he lost to liberal George W. Bush. The gold-digger thinks that it would be irresponsible and a waste of the Senate’s time to actually read the 1924 page, $1,100,000,000,000.00+ omnibus budget bill. He is an idiot of the First Order. His buddy, Representative (he only represents himself, not the real people) John Conyers (Donkey-Meechiganistan) also doesn’t believe in reading the bill, stating “What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?” This kind of arrogance is why the voters overwhelmingly voted for conservatives this year, and why this Congress has the lowest approval ratings in history. If the bill is too complex for a lawmaker to understand it, then it needs to be broken down into small parts and written in simple English, not lawyerese.

Once upon a time, His Majesty King Barack I promised that any bill that came to his desk would be posted online to be read and examined by the public for 5 days before he would sign it. Sooooooooo…why did he sign the tax compromise bill within hours of it being passed by the House? Why hasn’t the bill faced any court challenges, since the Constitution mandates that all tax bills originate in the House, when this one went through the Senate first?

So how extreme was the unholy troika of Obama-Reid-Pelosi? Consider the fact that the 111th Congress added more to our national debt than the first 100 Congresses COMBINED. That is what happens when liberals get unfettered control, and our grandchildren will pay for it if the nation is still in existence.

Glo-Bull Warming has struck Great Britain. They are reporting the coldest December since record keeping began. Has anybody heard any pronouncements from the Prophet Algoracle lately? Just in case any of you out there still believe him, here’s some more evidence of the fraud that is Glo-Bull Warming, and how the media and the leftists (sorry for repeating myself there) have been trying to hoodwink the people.

Meanwhile, Homeland Security Ditz Napolitano has created the Climate Change and Adaptation Task Force as part of her department. Its job is “identifying and assessing the impact that climate change could have on the missions and operations of the Department of Homeland Security.” Here’s some hints, ditz: If it rains, agents wear raincoats. If it snows, agents wear heavier coats. If it is muddy, agents use four-wheel drive vehicles instead of sedans. If it is hot and dry, agents drink all of the water from the jugs liberals put out to help the non-drybacks.

For those out there who still refuse to acknowledge that Barack Obama is a white-hating anti-American activist, take a look at the UN declaration that he has now signed onto. White taxpayers are now going to be forced to pay reparations to tribal Americans, and possibly give up lands which were once tribal lands. That means the ENTIRE nation for those of you who were educated by unionized teachers. Look for His Eminence to get the Useless Nations to put forth a similar declaration regarding slavery and the descendants of slaves in the near future.

In a move that is at least a century overdue, the incoming House leadership has instituted a new rule. All bills being filed with the House clerk must have their Constitutionality specifically cited, or the House clerk will not accept them. This rule would have prevented Obamacare, the GM takeover, multiple bailouts, the Community Reinvestment Act (the root cause of the credit crisis), Social Insecurity, Welfare, the amnesty bills, all of the New Deal and Great Society, and many more liberal programs that have been wrecking our nation.

For the first time in 63 years, there is no Kennedy in elected office in DC. Is there a coincidence that now the Constitution is going to be read and somewhat adhered to in the House? Those 63 years saw that document used as toilet paper by the Democratic Party and the liberal establishment wing of the GOP, including both Presidents Bush.

It is 85 pages worth, but the “Wastebook 2010” presented by Senator Tom Coburn (R-Oklahoma is OK) highlights the kind of spending by Congress that We The People have had it with.

Is it acceptable for any group to harass private citizens in their homes? Of course, the answer is no…unless that group of people happens to be a union during the reign of the SEIU and their minion, Barack Obama. Gotta love liberal thugs.

So how did the Religion of Peace observe the Christmas holidays? Well, take a look at the goings on in Nigeria, followed by more in the Philippines and this statement issued by members of that death cult. Religion of Peace my arse!

That same cult had 12 of its virgin-seekers arrested in London on terrorism charges, but Obama’s “consummate DNI” James Clapper knew nothing about it. If the Director of National Intelligence doesn’t know about major developments regarding terrorism, what does that say about the Keystone Kops that The Chosen One has put in charge of national security? Either he has purposely surrounded himself with idiots and morons in order to make HIM look smart, he wants our nation to be destroyed, or all of the above. I’m going with the third option.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money. Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth? Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone! So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!" Oliver Cromwell, 1653, on dissolving the Long Parliament (fitting for today’s Congress)

The Constitution of the United States

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

12-15-10 The Weekly Claw

Lame ducks sure do have a lot of bovine excrement!

Good grief. The GOP caves in to the Democrats on extending payments to people who are too lazy to look for work or too proud to take a job that pays less than their dream job, and what do the Democrats in the House do? They reject the deal because the eeeeevilllllll rich don’t get soaked with economy-killing tax hikes. Those idjuts obviously didn’t get the message that the American voters delivered in November.

What happens when you have a city that is run by unions and other liberals for a long time without any opposition? You get Detroit, which is sinking to a new low. Pulling cops and firefighters out of many parts of the city is a solution?

A federal judge in Virginia has ruled that the Obamacare individual mandate is indeed unConstitutional. This judge actually read the bill and has read and understands the Constitution, and those are actions that the other federal judges who have ruled on the matter obviously haven’t accomplished. What foreign law will the Affirmative Action Associate Justice use to uphold it next year?

Noted America (and freedom) hater Michael Mooreon and some of his fellow anti-American filmmakers are claiming to have helped provide bail money for Wikileaks’ Julian Assange in Sweden. Color The Crawfish unsurprised.

Speaking of America haters, the member of the Religion of Perpetual Hatred who tried to blow up a military recruiting station in Maryland has now had his first court appearance. When are the American people going to throw off the chains of political correctness and realize that Islam is the enemy, and that we are in a war that will only end with the extermination of all muslims or all non-muslims?

Ya gotta love it. A big Glo-Bull Warming summit happens in Cancun and they have the lowest temperature in over 100 years. They tried this a year ago in London and got the first snow in that city in decades. Hey idjuts, looks like God is sending you a message. He can control the weather, but you CAN’T!

This is what you get (after the Allstate commercial) when you let architects design a stadium with an inflatable roof in a city where they get heavy snowstorms, which are brought on by Glo-Bull Warming as we all know. I’d also like to put some of the blame on the NFL for allowing one of their teams to play in a facility that is inherently unsafe in winter. Bring out the MOPs! Morons On Parade!

A big thanks to Claw contributor Fawn Mac for this story that could only happen in a nation run by the Unholy Troika of Obama-Pelosi-Reid. An ILLEGAL ALIEN in Minnesota (okay, so I also happened in the land of frostbitten brains) had an operation paid for by the taxpayers. Was this some kind of life-saving emergency surgery? Nope. The taxpayers paid for the implantation of a penis pump in the non-dryback. Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to give him a plane ticket to El Salvador?

The tax compromise bill has passed the Senate and will now head to the House. Unfortunately, it must now be made null and void, because as Representative Bachman points out, the Constitution MANDATES that all tax bills must originate in the House. Of course, what does our current government (and the ones over the past century) care about the Constitution?

Y’all will simply not believe the Mother of All Earmarks that has been proposed. No Crawfish comments necessary.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money. Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth? Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone! So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!" Oliver Cromwell, 1653, on dissolving the Long Parliament (fitting for today’s Congress)

The Constitution of the United States

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

12-8-2010 The Weekly Claw

Short edition this week. I’m trying to decide how much I dislike the deal that the GOP made with Obama this week. We gave up waaaaay too much to maintain the status quo on income taxes. Why should anybody need 3 years worth of unemployment benefits?

Considering how deep in cahoots Obama is with the unions, I’m surprised that there has not been any federal action regarding a bunch of union (UAW) jobs that are about to be lost in Hurst, TX. Bell Helicopter is moving just about all of their remaining helicopter production away from their home base in the DFW Metroplex, where the workers are in a union, to Amarillo, TX, where the workers are not unionized, and where nobody really wants to go to get a job. Let’s face it. Who in their right mind wants to live in Amarillo? Larry Bell moved his company to Hurst for a reason in 1951. From that location, he could take advantage of the work forces in Dallas and Fort Worth, which has now become one large metro area instead of two cities 45 miles apart.

We have now uncovered the holiday season talking point of the Democratic Party: Welfare is the biggest stimulus ever devised! We all thought that it was just a case of Queen of the House (not for long!) Red Nanny P-Lousy’s two remaining brain cells having a Gaffes Biden moment when she spouted that nonsense in July, but the idea has caught on. Here she is saying that low taxes are not conducive to job creation while unemployment checks really work. Meeeechigan’s Senator Stabenow agrees, which might explain why her state’s economy has been in the toilet for years. Ohio’s Senator Sherrod Brown used the same fatally-flawed logic on Tingly Leg Matthews’ show. Stabenow and Brown do have an excuse for this stoooopidity. Their states have been going downhill for quite a while, even during the low-tax years, but the tax rates aren’t what destroyed jobs in Meeeechigan and Ohio. The destroyer of jobs in those states was (drum roll please) UNIONS!!!!!

One of the early stars of the Dallas Cowboys, Don Meredith, passed away suddenly this week at age 72. “Dandy Don” quarterbacked the Cowboys in two NFL Championship games against Green Bay, including the “Ice Bowl”, and later became a broadcaster for ABC’s Monday Night Football and a commercial spokesman for Lipton iced tea. For a while, he lived just down the street from The Crawfish…a very young Crawfish. He was truly one of the great characters of the game. “Turn out the lights. The party’s over.” Rest in peace, #17.

One of the overpaid idiots of the NFL flapped his jaw a bit too much this week. Antrel Rolle (what kind of name is Antrel???) said the fans shouldn’t boo the players, comparing them to our military. “We risk ourselves out there on the field each and every day also. When soldiers come home from Iraq you don't boo them. I look at it the same way. I take my job seriously.” Really? Do you want to trade places with our military? Do you want to get paid less in a 20-year career than you now get for half of a season? Do you want a retirement that pays less than 5% of your NFL retirement? Do you want health insurance that sucks? Do you want to spend lots of time away from home with the chance of getting shot, instead of working one day a week in front of adoring crowds? Do you want to actually work all year instead of taking off half of the year?

Homeland Security Ditz Napolitano says giving illegals amnesty in order to go to college would help our anti-illegal immigrant efforts. Liberal logic on display.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money. Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth? Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone! So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!" Oliver Cromwell, 1653, on dissolving the Long Parliament (fitting for today’s Congress)

The Constitution of the United States

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

12-1-2010 The Weekly Claw

Another crazy week is behind us…and the Lame Duck session of Congress is going to ruin a lot of Christmas cheer.

The Washington Times editorial board gave us a Thanksgiving column that is 100% on the mark. It is also a fun read.

The Blog Prof gave us a column about the first Thanksgiving, noting that the Pilgrims were the first people in America to prove that socialism does not work, a fact that is left out of all discussions in our union-run schools.

A federal judge has declared the Obamacare provision requiring individuals to be Constitutional under the “commerce clause”. Once again, we see someone placed in a position of making rulings according to the Constitution who has obviously never read the document. The anti-Constitutional judge, Norman K. Moon, was appointed by (imagine my surprise…) William Jefferson “I lie under oath” Clinton.

Dingy Harry Reid is pushing for a quick vote on a bill that the members of the Senate have not read because the text still has not been made available. Just like the last time this was done, Obamacare, this bill runs counter to the Constitution and the will of the American people. This time, it is the DREAM Act, which will allow millions of illegal aliens to get amnesty and immediately bring in their whole family trees from whatever crappy country they came from.

The not-so-reverend Al “Tawana Brawley” Sharpton and blueblood elitist snob Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-West Virginny, where they have 4 million people and 6 last names) have proven once again that the left cannot compete in the realm of ideas and free discourse. If liberals know they are beaten, they always turn to governmental regulation to solve their problems. In this case, they want the FCC to ban Rush Limbaugh and Fox News. If the airwaves are only filled with liberal ideas, then the people might actually listen to them…nah!

The latest data dump from Wikileaks, while reprehensible, did provide more proof that the Democratic Party is anti-Israel. Documents show that John “Lurch” Kerry-Heinz wants Israel to give up the strategic Golan Heights and part of Jerusalem to the enemies of Israel in return for…well, nothing. Surrendering as a strategy? Kerry’s showing his French roots!

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is the reason for the Wikileaks scandal, according to NBC News. Anything to further the gay agenda.

The unions are also attempting to use the federal government to overturn the will of the people at Delta Airlines. Delta’s pilots are unionized, but the rest of their employees are non-union, and the attempts to get the workers to vote in favor of unionization lately have gone 0 for 8. As a result, the unions are looking to the National Mediation Board to force more union elections until they can force the workers to pay the union bosses.

The Religion of Peace attempted to strike again against everyday Americans. This time, it was a Somali-born naturalized US citizen who tried to blow up a van filled with explosives at a Portland, Oregon, Christmas tree lighting ceremony. When will the non-muslim world wake up to the reality that Islam is a religion of conquer and domination? We need to stop allowing them to immigrate into our nations and become citizens. We SHOULD deport each and every one of them, including the Obama family, back to their muslim desert homelands.

Meanwhile, the city of Portland refused to allow their law enforcement personnel to participate with the FBI task force that prevented the attack because it was started under the Administration of the eeeeevilllll George W. Bush and it might have something to do with profiling. They are considering letting their folks play the game now that Obama is in charge, despite the fact that he has not repealed the Patriot Act. Ya think they might look like fools in front of their populace right about now?

Lemme get this straight. The religion of Islam tries to blow up Americans, and then demands (and gets) police protection just in case some Americans fight back. Portland’s dhimmi mayor even called any attempts to fight back “knuckle-headed”. Terrorists playing the victim card…how liberal America can you get?

Scott Brown (RINO-Taxachusetts) may have put the Teddythedrunk Senate seat into the hands of the GOP, but don’t ever think that he is a conservative. He has helped write a “bi-partisan” bill to let states opt out of Obamacare. Since it is called “bi-partisan”, you know it is actually a liberal Democrat bill that has been accepted by a liberal who calls himself a Republican. It only allows the states to opt out if they put in place a state program that has all of the features of Obamacare, such as Taxachusetts’ own Romneycare. That is not anywhere close to acceptable!

The Democrats keep stating that American voters are stooooopid if they vote in favor of the Constitution. Reacting to the mid-term massacre, Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania said, “voters don’t always vote on logical reasons.” Opposing the people who are attempting to destroy our nation isn’t logical?

The soon-to-be House Minority Whip, Steny Hoyer, commented about President Obama’s call for a 2-year pay freeze for government employees, saying that the members of the Armed Forces should also have their pay frozen to add “an element of fairness.” Sorry, dumb-bass, but the military is already underpaid and is something necessary (and Constitutional) for our nation. We could fire 75% of the federal workforce and have our country run smoother. Why do liberals hate our military so? Hey Steny, if ya want “fairness”, then why don’t you take my wife’s military paycheck for a couple of years, and give her yours. While you’re at it, let me, a 20-year Navy vet, have the same retirement package that a 20-year Congresscritter gets.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at CrawfishsClaw@yahoo.com and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

"The precept of the Koran is perpetual war against all who deny that Mohamed is the prophet of God. The vanquished may purchase their lives, by the payment of tribute; the victorious may be appeased by a false and delusive promise of peace; and the faithful follower of the prophet may submit to the imperious necessities of defeat: but the command to propagate the Moslem creed by the sword is always obligatory, when it can be made effective. The commands of the prophet may be performed alike, by fraud, or by force." John Quincy Adams

The Constitution of the United States