Wednesday, August 25, 2010

8-25-2010 The Weekly Claw

Another week goes by, and I’m still employed, so I guess it was a somewhat good one. Well, it was if you didn’t pay attention to the news or the economy…

A tip of The Crawfish’s hat goes to GunnyG for finding this story. The Affirmative Action Attorney General’s Injustice Department is looking for some Ebonics specialists to work in the DEA’s Atlanta office.

The children that are running this Administration are trying to screw up the military yet again. This time, they are contemplating disestablishing a major Navy command, the US Second Fleet. Second Fleet is responsible for training, qualifying, and certifying all naval units that deploy to the Atlantic, Mediterranean, and the Middle East. They are also responsible for the western part of the Atlantic Ocean, including the American east coast.

Once upon a time, this was my favorite cartoon series. Too bad “The Mighty Heroes” only ran for a couple of years and was never released in syndication by Terrytunes.

For those of you who say that our government cannot and will not issue directives to make amnesty for illegal aliens a reality, I have some special news for ya. They’re already doing it. The federal government is moving to dismiss deportation cases against illegals if they have no other criminal records, saying that they only have the capacity to deport 4% of the non-drybacks per year. Sorry, but we have the capacity to deport each and every one within the next month if The Chosen One would give the order.

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals has once again brought up one of The Crawfish’s pet peeves. They have ruled that memorial crosses along the highways of Utah violate the “establishment clause” of the First Amendment, and therefore must be removed. The “establishment clause” reads, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” What part of the State of Utah putting up crosses to memorialize fallen members of their Highway Patrol is Congress making a law? The 10th Circuit needs to learn how to read.

Here’s an interesting headline on Drudge…”24% Think Obama Muslim”. Since it is a poll and article from Time, they say that these people “mistakenly” believe that the muslim is a muslim. The Crawfish says that the headline should be “76% in denial of the truth”. Even the Noo Yawk Slimes admits that Obama was born a muslim and that converting away from Islam is the worst crime in the muslim world (comes with an automatic death sentence), yet somehow the muslim world supports him. If he had indeed truthfully left Islam, they would be calling for his death, not welcoming him.

Am I missing something here? Late in the last century, the Democratic Party officially took the stance that lying under oath was a perfectly legitimate thing for a President to do. Every single Democrat in the Senate voted to acquit William Jefferson Clinton in his impeachment trial. Now those same Democrats are charging a baseball player with felony counts of lying to Congress, and he could go to federal prison if found guilty. Lying under oath in court is okay, but lying to Congress about a friggin’ game that Congress has no business involving itself in is worth sending a man to prison?

When is a bridge not a bridge? The answer is that an unguarded bridge that crosses the Rio Grande River, allowing illegals to bypass the part of the border fence that actually has been built, is called a “grade control structure” by liberals. I guess this is kinda like trying to decide what the meaning of the word “is” is…

These words come from one of the leaders of Code Pink, and were directed to the Gold Star Mothers, “Your son deserved to die in Iraq if he was stupid enough to go over there.” This Code Pink leader, Jodie Evans, is one of the head fundraisers for Jerry Brown’s current campaign for the Governorship in California. In effect, that makes her statement the official position of Jerry Brown, unless he publicly repudiates it, fires Evans from her position, and returns every pink penny that she raised for him. Californians, let’em have it!

Senator Michael Bennet (D-Colorado) might have the only functioning brain cells in the Senate Democratic Caucus. “We have managed to acquire $13 trillion of debt on our balance sheet,” he said. “In my view we have nothing to show for it.” Too bad the rest of his party doesn’t agree.

Compare those words to the words of Senator Max Baucus (D-Montana, where men are men, women are men, and sheep are scared) concerning the 2000+ page Obamacare bill, which he helped write. “I don’t think you want me to waste my time to read every page of the health care bill. You know why? It’s statutory language. We hire experts.” Huh? YOU SENATORS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING IT, but you don’t know how to interpret the language that you wrote? You need experts to translate your own words and yet you expect Americans to understand and love the bill? You expect doctors to understand it? Why don’t you resign from the job that is evidently too tough for you and go “enjoy” some sheep.

Gaffes Biden is back in campaign mode. Now he says of the GOP and Tea Party folks, “They offer [a] combination of the old failed policies of the [George W.] Bush administration and a new set of draconian ideas basically on steroids.” That’s funny, since most of the policies of the Bush Administration are rejected by the Tea Party supporters, and the Tea Party “draconian ideas” are based on the actual words of the Constitution. Gaffes also says that the Democrats “know the government isn't going to heal the economy.” Well, then why are all of the Democrats’ policies based on the government running every single aspect of life in America? He also says that there’s “no doubt we're moving in the right direction” on a day when the Commerce Department announced that new home sales had dropped to their lowest rate in history. Joe, you are indeed a moron.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence.
-Constitution of the United States, Article IV, Section 4.
Quote suggested by Peppermint2 in response to the Obama-Holder-Judge Bolden opposition of Arizona’s anti-illegal immigrant law

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

8-18-2010 The Weekly Claw

I thought the Era of Obama was ushering in big power for the unions. The Crawfish is part of the UAW Local 218, and Bell Helicopter promised us work on a new contract that would keep us employed for at least 5 years. Unfortunately for me, they are sending that work to their Amarillo, TX, plant because it is NON-union. They did the same thing with the V-22 Osprey, after promising all of the workers at the Hurst, TX, plant that they would be getting the work. I’m getting laid off four or five weeks from now because of the union, and they aren’t fighting at all for their members. This SUX!

Thanx to regular Claw-contributor “Jim” for this story about a newspaper in Britain that is getting miffed at the people who are sponging off of the taxpayers over there and are shameless about it!

An American institution is coming to an end. No, I’m not talking about the Constitution…yet. Cathy Guisewite started the comic strip “Cathy” 34 years ago, and it will make its final appearance on Sunday, October 3rd. For making us all, especially America’s women, laugh for all those years, Cathy Guisewite gets a salute from this retired Sailor.

For those folks who are still blaming W for the credit collapse of 2008, Investor’s Business Daily has an editorial that is simple to read and exposes how it was the Democrats who caused the train wreck, and how they are trying to make it happen all over again. This one’s so simple that even a liberal should be able to understand it. I did say SHOULD!

The Obama Equal Opportunity Commission now says that it is racial discrimination for employers to run criminal background checks on job applicants because blacks and Hispanics are much more likely to be criminals. First of all, if blacks and Hispanics have higher rates of criminal activity, that’s their own fault. Secondly, it is SMART for employers to check the criminal backgrounds of potential employees. Lastly, what gives the federal government the right to have ANY say in the hiring practices of employers? If Billy Joe, Jim Bob, and Bubba Redneck want to open a sporting goods and bait shop in Bassackwardsville, and they know that their probable shoppers are not exactly friendly towards women or blacks, then why should the government be able to tell them that they HAVE to hire a black woman?

Maxine Waters’ ethics investigation just got a bit more interesting. The CEO of the bank that she helped out has been living quite large on the bank’s dime, and since Waters is such a good friend, she must have known.

It gets better. Why is it that no black politicians or public figures (according to the race lords NO blacks, period) are ever responsible for their own actions when those actions are illegal? Maxine is now officially blaming the Bush Administration for her ethics violations. Yep, it is all whitey’s fault, especially that eeeeeevilllll W.

The Obama-proclaimed “Recovery Summer” continues, as first-time jobless claims rose to their highest point since February. So how’s that Hopey-Changey thing workin’ for ya?

See-BS News posted an interesting column. It seems that they have caught on to His Majesty’s use of language to bamboozle the people. Since taking office, he has declared no less than FIFTEEN different issues to be a “top priority” of himself and his Administration. Of course, those of us who have been paying attention know that he only has two top priorities: the destruction of our Constitution and the destruction of our nation.

Dingy Harry Reid is busted with his own words. In 1993, he proposed legislation with language that is exactly what conservatives consider to be the proper reading of the 14th Amendment. Let’s take a look at what his proposed legislation said:
“TITLE X—CITIZENSHIP 4 SEC. 1001. BASIS OF CITIZENSHIP CLARIFIED. In the exercise of its powers under section of the Fourteenth Article of Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, the Congress has determined and hereby declares that any person born after the date of enactment of this title to a mother who is neither a citizen of the United States nor admitted to the United States as a lawful permanent resident, and which person is a national or citizen of another country of which either of his or her natural parents is a national or citizen, or is entitled upon application to become a national or citizen of such country, shall be considered as born subject to the jurisdiction of that foreign country and not subject to the jurisdiction of the United States within the meaning of section 1 of such Article and shall therefore not be a citizen of the United States or of any State solely by reason of physical presence within the United States at the moment of birth.” Now he considers people who agree with those words to “either taken leave of their senses or their principles.” What an idiot.

Here’s a real shocker. Our muslim President has come out in favor of the Conquest Mosque near Ground Zero. He really enjoys spitting on the American people, doesn’t he. This is NOT a religious freedom issue. This is our sworn ENEMY building a monument to their greatest attack on our nation, a monument that will also be a recruiting center and training site for future attacks on us. Whether our politicians and media will ever admit it or not, we are in a war with Islam and it will not end until one side is completely eliminated, and that is according to their Koran.

Meanwhile, while the Democrat politicians are falling all over themselves to make that Conquest Mosque a reality, the Greek Orthodox Church that was destroyed on 9-11 still has not been rebuilt, and the politicians are putting up roadblocks against it. The church is not allowed to rebuild on their own property, and their dome cannot extend higher than the 9-11 memorial, yet the Conquest Mosque can be built up 13 stories. More in this article by Mark Impomeni at Human Events. Heck, even the muslim community is admitting that the Conquest Mosque is meant to be a deliberate provocation. If they admit it, why can’t our muslim President or our muslim-coddling left wing politicians admit it?

Uberconservative blogger GunnyG strikes again with this video showing how The Chosen One will support muslims whenever possible, including jihadists. I know…most of y’all ain’t shocked in the least.

Thanks to Bill of the Poll Katz for sending this video. All The Crawfish can say is…I WANT ONE!!!!!

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence.
-Constitution of the United States, Article IV, Section 4.
Quote suggested by Peppermint2 in response to the Obama-Holder-Judge Bolden opposition of Arizona’s anti-illegal immigrant law

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

8-11-2010 The Weekly Claw

Y’all had best be glad that I didn’t include every story that hacked me off this week. If I did, you’d still be reading this column next Wednesday!

In these tough times, Americans are cutting back and having to sacrifice. Then there’s The Chosen One and micHELLe Antoinette. They are the poster children for extravagance and excess. As I have said puh-lenty of times, he always wanted to be President, but he never wanted to BE President. They love the power, perks, and adulation, but avoid the responsibility and duty as much as humanly possible.

There are some other liberals who won’t sacrifice. I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, but the city of Oakland had to lay off 10% of the police force, and now I know why. Take a look at the salaries and benefits given to those union stooges! Their ROOKIE salary is more than TRIPLE what a first-year enlisted military person makes, and over DOUBLE what a Noo Yawk City cop makes.

The Arrogant Incompetent (aka Press Secretary Gibbs) lost it again. This time he’s calling the LEFTIST critics of Obama “crazy” and saying they need to be drug tested. The Crawfish finds it difficult to believe that there are actually people to the left of Obama.

Five “Republicans” proved on Thursday that they are in actuality far-left liberals and oppose the Constitution of the United States. They all voted in favor of Elena Kagan for the position of Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. Three of them were no surprise, as they have made it a habit to vote with the far-left: Olympia Snowe-job, Susan Collins, and Lindsey Grahamnesty. Also opposing the Constitution were Judd Gregg and Richardcranium Lugar. Gregg is retiring, thank God, but the other four need to be removed from office at the earliest possible moment.

The Governor of the Great State of Texas, Rick Perry, has told Washington “NO!” when they have tried to force Texas to accept money with lots of strings attached. The result is that the left wingnuts in Congress have attached language to a $10,000,000,000.00 education funding attachment to a war supplement bill that specifically puts Texas into a different category from the rest of the nation. Governor Perry has this reply to the schmucks in DC.

You really have to love it when the Democrats give the shaft to one of their core constituencies in order to please another one. In their great bailout of the teachers unions and government employee unions, the libs took $12,000,000,000.00 from America’s leeches and their food stamps. They are claiming that this is not a bailout of the unions, but since the money is directed to keeping teachers, cops, and firefighters (all unionized) on the job (remember that by the rules of almost every union, the people who would be laid off are the ones who are new to the job and actually work while the ones who have seniority or “tenure” can sit on their asses and do nothing all day and still get paid max wages).

Welcome to the “Recovery Summer” as proclaimed by Hussein and Gaffes. Does a net job loss of 131,000 jobs in July and a negative adjustment of 97,000 jobs in the May/June timeframe show economic growth and success for the so-called “stimulus”? This is the kind of “recovery” that causes Administration economic advisors to resign. If we can get some adults to run Congress and the White House instead of the clowns and children in there now, we might be able to turn it around eventually.

Since he assumed the throne in January of 2009, King Barak I has bailed out GM and Chrysler and turned GM over to the union thugs at the UAW (Note: The Crawfish is a card-carrying member of the UAW). So how do the leftists and Big Union look after the rank and file workers? They decide to build up a plant in Mexico for the next line of vehicles and engines. That is gonna really help out American workers, ain’t it.

There are times when you really have to wonder what the union leaders are thinking. The teachers union in Milwaukee is up in arms concerning one of their medical benefits that is no longer. The school budget in Milwaukee, just like most other public school systems, is so small that the students have to provide many of the classroom supplies. Many teachers are being laid off, and since this is a union the ones being let go will be those with the lowest seniority instead of those who are crappy teachers. So the union is making a demand for an unnecessary prescription drug that will cost the school district more than keeping 12 new teachers. Yep, unions really care about their members…wait…which members are we talking about?

The surrender to Islam is underway in the United States. A judge in Noo Joisey denied a Moroccan woman a restraining order against her ex-husband. The man has repeatedly raped his now-former wife, but Judge Joseph Charles ruled that he was just acting upon his muslim beliefs, so it was all well and good. No, “judge”, rape is rape and the perp needs to be sent to prison for a lengthy stay. This “judge” is, of course, a Democrat. He is a former member of the Noo Joisey General Assembly and the Noo Joisey Senate. He was appointed to the Noo Joisey Superior Court by Governor McGreevey, who himself was forced to resign from office when it was found out that his marriage to a woman was a sham and that he had a male lover (an Israeli) whom he appointed to the position of Noo Joisey Homeland Security Advisor.

It gets worse. The ACLU and the far-left Center for Constitutional Rights are teaming up to represent (on a pro bono basis) the father of an Al Qaeda recruiter who is linked to the attempted Christmas Day airline bombing in Detroit and with the Fort Hood massacre. The poor misunderstood lad is on a list of designated terrorists that some say is also a target list. Any American-based organization that gives aid and comfort to our enemies in wartime is committing treason, and every single board member of those two organizations should be arrested and charged with that treason, tried, convicted, and executed by firing squad the next day.

The hate-filled imam of the proposed Ground Zero Conquest Mosque has friends in high places, by that The Crawfish means the Oval Office and the SecState’s office. The State Department is sending him on a trip to the Middle East to recruit for Al Qaeda and to raise money for the conquest mosque. Okay, that’s not the OFFICIAL business of the trip, but it is what he is going to do. Oh, and this will all be paid for by you and me.

There are times when Democrats propose things that turn me into John McEnroe. The man who almost became President in the 2004 elections just provided one of those moments, proving once again that liberals are working for the downfall of our nation. Yes, let’s bring over a bunch of muslims who are in the prime age groups for Islamic terrorists, and let the “city planners” have access to the underground passageways of Noo Yawk City, so they can plant tons of C4 and semtex in relative cool temperatures and undisturbed by anyone. “You cannot be serious!

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence.
-Constitution of the United States, Article IV, Section 4.
Quote suggested by Peppermint2 in response to the Obama-Holder-Judge Bolden opposition of Arizona’s anti-illegal immigrant law

Sunday, August 8, 2010

New procedures

Sorry folks, but one of the trolls who was attempting to hijack GunnyG's blog came over here attempting to hijack my blog with his racist comments (while using the names of some of my regulars).

As a result, I'm going to have to moderate the comments, so they won't show immediately.

Sux, but that is what happens when liberals show their tolerance.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

8-4-2010 The Weekly Claw

Another nutty week has passed, and we’ve got a lot to discuss. Ya know it was one of those weeks when The Crawfish isn’t even getting into the ludicrous decision by a judge saying that California’s constitution is unConstitutional because it now bans queer marriage. I could do a whole series of columns on that decision, but (grits teeth) I shall refrain.

Well, I’m glad to see that some of the Republicans have finally awakened and started doing some research on what the socialists are doing with OUR tax dollars. A report was released this week detailing some of the expenditures from the so-called “stimulus” bill. The report is over 70 pages long, but you can get a good idea from scanning the table of contents. Let’s see….$54,000,000.00 to the Mohegan Tribe (which is swimming in money from their mega-casino and resort) for a tribal government center that will also include a practice facility for the WNBA’s Connecticut Sun (which plays in the Mohegan Sun Arena, part of the Mohegan Sun Resort), $1,200,000.00 for research into marketing video games to seniors, $193,956.00 to “estimate the impact of stimulus funds on the perceptions of citizens and the choices of local community decision makers” (here’s a hint: if the people knew what you were spending it on, they’d be even MORE PISSED OFF!), $554,763.00 to replace the windows in a Forest Service Visitor Center near Mount St. Helens (the center was closed in 2007 and boarded up, with no plans to ever re-open). Do ya get the point? Outrage after outrage.

I found it to be quite telling when the front page photos in most major newspapers on Thursday showed people celebrating the fact that a judge had ruled in favor of unfettered illegal immigration. Yes, let’s CELEBRATE the breaking of our federal laws. Once upon a time, America’s newspapers were in favor of the United States. Too bad for them that the judge just ruled on her liberal beliefs and not the law. The basis of the Arizona law was already upheld by the Supreme Court with the 2005 Muehler v. Mena case, which happened to be a unanimous decision! Besides, if local and state enforcement of federal laws causes sooooo many problems for the feds, then let’s just tell all local and state cops to stop enforcing federal laws such as kidnapping, bank robbery, illegal drug possession/distribution/manufacturing/growing…ya see where I’m goin’?

The US newspapers don’t mention a word about it, but Canada Free PressBand of Bloggers gets credit for that one! points out that the judge in the case has no say in the matter. Only the Supreme Court can rule on it. The Constitution’s Article III, Sec. 2, clause 2 says: “In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the Supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction.” Bobbie of the Band of Bloggers gets credit for this'un.

I guess even Lindsey Graham has an occasional good day. He must have read The Crawfish’s American Tradition Party Platform 2008 and decided that the ending of birthright citizenship for babies born to non-drybacks might be a good idea, although regular Claw reader and blogger BrianR has pointed out repeatedly that the 14th Amendment’s language does not give birthright citizenship to persons born here who are not subject to the jurisdiction of the United States (meaning citizens of other nations).

As we have expected, the Administration is exploring ways to stop enforcing our immigration laws and give amnesty, but they know the Democrats would lose their majority in Congress PERMANENTLY if they voted for amnesty. Well, there are some memos have surfaced detailing steps that the Administration can take to circumvent Congress and the American people. Yes, Obama and his minions will do whatever it takes to give blanket amnesty to non-drybacks and to open our borders for all. Do they really want blood running freely in the streets? Do they want the people to revolt? Well…..that WOULD allow them to throw away the 2nd Amendment and declare martial law.

WANTED FOR ACCESSORY TO MURDER: Barack Obama, Eric Holder, and Janet Napolitano. A Catholic nun was murdered over the weekend by an illegal alien with multiple DUI arrests. Federal authorities had released him into the population again, even though they claim he was eventually going to be deported.

The Mexican drug cartels have placed a bounty of $1,000,000.00 on the head of Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, AZ. This is a direct threat from foreign adversaries against American authorities. Will the Administration do anything about it? Yeah, right…figger the odds. They WANT Sheriff Joe gone!

Back during the 2008 Pennsylvania Primaries, The Crawfish downloaded the Obama campaign manifesto, “The Blueprint for Change”. I ran a 16-part series tearing it apart line by line as a warning to all who were buying into the hype of “HOPEANDCHANGE! (but don’t ask any real questions)”. Now that we’ve had 18 months of The Chosen One, are my warnings proving to be true?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Tax Cheat Timmy admitted on ABC that the “Recovery Summer” is nothing more than bovine excrement! He said that some jobs will soon be available, which will cause people who have quit searching for jobs (and are therefore not counted now in the unemployment numbers) to start searching for jobs again, and the unemployment percentage will go back up as a result. That is going to precipitate the numbers going back down if the jobs really do reappear, which he is guessing that they will eventually do. This does mean that the real numbers are probably much higher than the official 9+%.

The “No Shi’ite, Sherlock!” moment of the week comes from Israeli President Shimon Peres. In an interview, he noted that there are now millions of muslim voters (WHY???) in Britainistan, and the Brit Members of Parliament are pandering to them with pro-arab and pro-“Palestinian” bias that dates back to the partitioning of the middle east.

Over the years, and especially since the 2008 primaries, the liberals of America have repeatedly called conservatives “fascists”. Well, our good friend GunnyG has a new column up that examines fascism by its definition and compares it to everything the left in America has been doing. Guess who the fascists are!

Every once in a while, the courts in California do something that is completely shocking. Most of the time, it is not a good shock. This time, it is a very good shock!

The Dim-ocrats’ poster boy for the lack of good mental health care in our country is at it again. Representative Grayson of Florida has used over $73,000.00 of YOUR tax dollars to produce a DVD of his greatest accomplishments during his term in office and mail them to all of his constituents. Since this was not done by his campaign staff, it does not count as a campaign mailing, so all expenses are paid for by us. So what are his accomplishments? Making the rest of the Dim-ocrats look positively smart?

The people of Taxachusetts are seeing the fruits of unfettered rule of Democrats yet again. This time, the Dims in the legislature are trying to take away the citizens’ right to petition for ballot initiatives. In other words, they are going to completely shut the people out of the legislative process, with the sole exception of who they get to vote for. Since they have conditioned the majority of the people to vote for Dims no matter how screwed up they are, the legislators have no fear of the people. Do those people need a new Lexington and Concord?

Uh oh. The Dims are showing their racism and anti-Semitism again. For the millionth time The Crawfish must ask why Jews mostly vote for these people.

Ya know, I thought the Democrats were the ones going absolutely bat guano about companies that received bailout funds giving their executives huge bonuses that were essentially paid for by the taxpayers. As ESPN’s Lee Corso would say, “Not so fast, my friend!” His Eminence Sultan Bu’raq al Obama has appointed Jacob Lew to be the new head of the Office of Management and Budget (OMB). Mr. Lew was paid $1,100,000.00 by Citigroup, one of the big Wall Street firms that received billions in bailout money, in 2008 and received a bonus of $900,000.00 before leaving to join the Hillary! State Department. Hold on a moment. Aren’t those big bonuses supposedly made to keep the top notch people at their companies? Why did he leave Citi to join Hillary! if he had just gotten such a bonus?

Daniel Flynn has a very timely column that examines the NAACP and their history of racism, which nobody in our government or media will call them on. Thanx to RJ of “Paul Revere’s Riders” for the link.

Okay, here’s a hint for those who want to avoid dying earlier than necessary. If two families want to enjoy themselves on a summer day, but not a single member of either family knows how to swim, the families should NOT go play in a river. This tragedy was caused by sheer stoooopidity, which the families had been stuck on for at least 18 years, as evidenced by the names of the adolescents in the water: DeKendrix Warner (first one in trouble but was saved by someone who jumped in after him), Takeitha Warner, JaMarcus Warner, JaTavious Warner, Litrelle Stewart, LaDairus Stewart, and Latevin Stewart. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see any of those names in the baby name books when we were starting our family 13 years ago.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence."
-Constitution of the United States, Article IV, Section 4.
Quote suggested by Peppermint2 in response to the Obama-Holder-Judge Bolden opposition of Arizona’s anti-illegal immigrant law