Friday, January 22, 2010

1-22-2010 The Weekend Claw

Well, I did it. I made it through my retirement ceremony, and even got most of my speech out. I had to drop a few lines to make it through as my emotions took hold. I’ve taken the final salute and the uniform is hung up for the last time. Now I can be one of those crotchety old retirees at the local VFW or Fleet Reserve Association hall. For the next two weeks, I’ll be very busy and will have little to no internet access as my current residence gets packed up, moved, and unpacked. I don’t anticipate posting another column until sometime in the second week of February.

Another short column today. Other priorities this week.

Oh, this is rich. The Crawfish currently lives in Patrick Murphy’s Congressional district. I just got
this e-mail from him. He’s claiming to be a big budget cutter and waste eliminator. “The United States is in the most severe recession since the 1930s. Folks throughout the district are sitting around their kitchen tables making tough decisions about their family budgets. I am fighting in Washington to make sure that the federal government does the same. I am working hard every day not only to get our economy back on track, but also to cut wasteful government spending and rein in the national debt.” Oh really??? “I have voted for over $16 billion in spending cuts, cosponsored legislation to end wasteful, outdated policies such as federal subsidies for mohair (saving $28 million each year).” But what about the $800,000,000,000 “stimulus” bill that he voted for, or the $2,500,000,000,000+ Obamacare bill that he voted for? Oh, he did vote against Congressional pay raises, so that proves that he really means it, right?

Is there any kind of financial dealings that Obama doesn’t want to nationalize? Now
he’s planning to take over the student loan industry! The government already subsidizes student loans under the direction of the unConstitutional Department of Education. It is time to get the federal government OUT of education, period.

Speaking of unConstitutional, the Supreme Court finally threw out most of the McCain-Feingold campaign finance law. Five of the nine SCOTUS Justices realized that
the First Amendment really does exist and is written in plain English. The four anti-Constitutionalist liberals of the Court disagreed, as did the White House, Upchuck Schumer, and the vast majority of the Democratic Party. What’s so hard to understand about “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press”???

The liberals and the media…dang, I repeated myself again…have been screeching that the Tea Party movement and conservatives throughout the nation are all angry whites. They just can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that many blacks are realizing that cradle-to-grave government dependency is killing black America,
and they’re fighting back. I’ve said it many times, but I’d love to see J.C. Watts get back into the game.

All I can say to

Hugo the Red has lost what was left of his mind. He’s blaming the US for the Haiti earthquake. Specifically, he says the
US Navy tested a weapon that caused the quake.

We had another victory against the liberals on Wednesday. Erroll Southers
withdrew as the nominee to head the Transportation Security Administration because of conservative opposition to his unionization attempts.

Is there
any member of the Obama Administration who is pro-America and leads a moral and law-abiding life? Their motto must be “Who needs morals? They are rules that stifle your life, just like that silly old Constitution thingy.”

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." -G. K. Chesterton

The Constitution of the United States

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

1-19-2010 The Weekly Claw

Okay, okay. I know. The Cowboys played like a middle school team against the Vikings. Maybe that’ll help Jerry fire Wade Phillips. In the meantime…GEAUX SAINTS!

Besides the Haiti situation and the Taxachusetts special election, the news wires were a bit on the quiet side this weekend and Monday, so you don’t get my usual long column.

His Emminence Sultan Bu’raq al Obama is scared of The Crawfish. You don’t believe me? How else do you explain how he announces that he will give his State of the Union spin…er, address on
January 27th, right after I announce that I won’t be posting any columns that week and maybe not the week after. Coincidence? I think not.

The Obama-Pelosi-Reid Recession is still hurting America in a big way. Ordinary Americans are having to sacrifice more than they have in their lives, with the only exceptions being those who went through the Great Depression. Over 10% is still officially out of work, with another estimated 7-8% having stopped looking for work. So how do King Louis and Marie Antoinette…excuse me, Barry and Shelly, show their solidarity with the people? They’ve
hosted 187 parties and 11 open houses at their new digs in DC. Yes, that’s a party every 1.95 days over the first 365 days of their reign. Barry really likes being President, as long as it doesn’t involve BEING President.

Martha Coakley has not only been trying to channel Teddythedrunk (D-Chappaquiddick) on the campaign trail, but now she’s
imitating Joe Biden with her gaffes and sheer stoooopidity. Meanwhile, Kennedy’s nephew Patrick thinks her name is Marcia, and all of her supporters believe that her problems in this election are all George W. Bush’s fault. Don’t they know who’s been in charge of the House and Senate for the past three years?

I know this is hard for Americans to believe, but liberals and Democrats support cheating in elections both here and overseas (such as Hugo Chavez’s first election and last year’s Iranian elections).
MSNBC now officially endorses cheating in elections to prevent Republicans from getting elected.

Last week it looked like at least the Vice President had determined that abiding by the campaign pledges of openness and transparency might be a good idea, especially since even the left wing press has started to notice. He even met with the chief of transparency in economic recovery. The
meeting was closed to the press.

Looks like some Pakis
have their head diapers wrapped just a wee bit too tight. Insulting Christianity and sawing the heads off of non-muslims is just fine, but a cartoon that rightfully notes the militant tendencies of Islam is one of the worst evils of man?

Hugo the Red strikes again. In the wake of his devaluation of Venezuela’s currency, he accused a company that is Colombian and French owned of raising their prices in order to not lose money on every sale. “I order that we develop a dossier and prepare a new law to take over the Exito chain,” he declared. Yes,
he wants to take over a company owned by others, and has declared that he will change his own nation’s laws if he needs to. Who does he think he is? A Democrat?

Some people are just plain stoooopid. Celebrutard Heidi Montag recently had
TEN plastic surgery procedures. Here’s the before/after comparison pics. She looks a lot better in the BEFORE side. Besides, who needs DDD boobs? Imagine what those will look like when she hits 50. Eeeeeeewwwww!

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which is the UN group that got The Prophet Algoracle his Nobel Prize, is being
forced to retract some of the information that filled the report which was the basis of the Nobel nomination. The section regarding Himalayan glaciers was based upon speculation instead of scientific study, and has been shown to be false.

Peter Orszag of the White House Office of Management and Budget has let go with another whopper. He actually says that inefficiency in government is due to the government workers having old, slow computers at their desks. Sorry, Petey, but the levels upon levels of bureaucracy and government employee unions have a lot more to do with the inefficiency of government. On top of that, government agencies have
spent $199,000,000,000.00+ on computers in the past three years. For that amount, they had better have the absolute best computers available!

The Crawfish is a bit busy these days getting ready to move, looking for a job, prepping my retirement ceremony, getting everything done in order to retire from the military, etc. I will probably not post any columns during the final week of January and the first week of February as I deal with the movers here and when I get home to Texas.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The Utopian schemes of leveling [re-distribution of the wealth] and a community of goods [central ownership of the means of production and distribution], are as visionary and impractical as those which vest all property in the Crown. [These ideas] are arbitrary, despotic, and, in our government, unconstitutional.”– Samuel Adams

The Constitution of the United States

Friday, January 15, 2010

1-15-2010 The Weekend Claw

Wow. One week from today is my Navy retirement ceremony. I’ve got 16 days left of calling myself an active duty Sailor.

Do we really want the government to be in charge of health care when a government agency that’s already under heavy scrutiny, the TSA, can’t even keep someone who is on a
list of people who are not allowed to board commercial airliners in the United States because he has tuberculosis from flying from Filthadelphia to Than Franthithco aboard a US Airways jet? I’m just sayin’…

A friend of mine and I were having a discussion about the Obamacare legislation the other day, and we came up with an interesting theory. If Queen of the House Red Nanny P-Lousy succeeds in forcing the House to accept the Senate bill (the only way it can pass without having to get 60 Senators to vote AYE again), and some of the “blue dog” Dems go along with her threats, that will make those somewhat conservative Dems very vulnerable to defeat in the fall. She wants a solid majority of FAR-LEFT Congresscritters, so what better way to ditch the Dems she despises? If they vote AGAINST Obamacare, then she can support leftists to run against them in primary elections. It’s a win-win situation for Nanny!

It looks like the unions have forced the issue and made the Obamacare legislation even more unConstitutional. They signaled that they were displeased, and The Chosen One snapped to attention, called House and Senate lead donkeys to the White House, and forced them to
give the unions an exemption from taxation on health insurance plans. Isn’t there something about equality under law in that Constitution thingy?

Pat Robertson does a really good job of making all evangelical Christians
look like complete morons at times. When will someone finally pull the plug on him? Not every negative occurrence in the world is the result of God being angry at someone.

Bob Maistros of North Star National has the right take on the
upcoming federal court fight in California over homosexual marriage. The comments show that he has spun up some of the heterophobes, which is always fun. Check out the comment by some guy called “The Crawfish”.

Ben Rhodes said, “I very much wanted to be a fiction writer.” He succeeded in writing some of the most amazing fiction put forth in the past few years. It was written so well that millions of people believed it to be truth.
Rhodes is one of the top speechwriters for Barack Obama.

The White House was involved in more fiction billed as truth earlier this month. The First Fashion Disaster and her personal chef were part of a Food Network special Iron Chef America show that began with the four competing chefs and FLOTUS in her garden at the White House, picking vegetables to be used in the competition. None of the vegetables from the White House made it to Kitchen Stadium.
Stunt veggies were used, and the switch was not revealed to the audience. Can the Obamas be truthful about ANYTHING?

The Administrations Anti-Semitism Czar
criticized the Israeli Ambassador because he refused to attend a conference of a group that wants to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The fact that the group basically wants Israel to surrender to the demands of the muslims is completely lost upon this appointee of Sultan Bu’raq al Obama.

“If the goal was and the mission in Afghanistan was to go in because we believed that the Taliban was giving harbor to terrorists. We supported that. I supported that. They’re gone. They’re not there anymore.” That statement came from Taxachusetts AG Martha Coakley (Dim-ocrat) during the televised debate between the candidates in the special election for the United States Senate seat defiled by Teddythedrunk (D-Chappaquiddick). She actually says that there are
no more terrorists in Afghanistan. Hey ditz, tell that to the eight CIA operatives who got blown up by an Islamic suicide bomber. Tell it to the family of Marine Lance Corporals Mark A. Juarez and Jacob A. Meinert, both of whom were killed in Afghanistan this past weekend. When Coakley was asked about this comment later by a reporter, she immediately asked the other reporters if anyone had a different question (about 45 seconds into the lower YouTube video on that page).

Martha the Lefty will surprise you in other ways as well. Well, maybe not since we know how liberals are and this is right up their alley, but
she is opposed to nuns and actual serious Catholics working in Catholic hospitals because they believe that performing or counseling for abortions is a sin. She believes EVERY medical center in the US should be an abortion factory. Meanwhile, she kept a pedophile priest out of the public spotlight for seven years, enabling him to prey upon more children. She evidently adores men who sexually assault children, because when a cop raped a 23-MONTH-old girl with a hot curling iron, she investigated and suggested that he be released with no bail and on his own personal recognizance. Her successor in the DA job convicted the cop and sent him to prison for two consecutive life terms. So it comes down to a liberal Democrat from Taxachusetts who supports sexual assault and opposes the Catholic Church on abortion…and we thought Teddythedrunk (D-Chappaquiddick) was dead.

How good of a job has Coakley done at protecting the lawbreakers from law enforcement and upholding liberal values? The fact that
ACORN has given her an A+ rating should answer the question fully. Hat tip to Kerry Picket of the Washington Times editorial page.

It really is amazing to see how much of a complete jerk Upchuck Schumer can be. Chuckie the Gun Grabber is doing his best to keep Scott Brown from defeating Coakley, including using
this kind of perverted and foul language in a campaign e-mail, “her opponent is a far-right tea-bagger Republican.” Does he really believe that the people wouldn’t notice his use of that term?

Keith Olbermann, who is one of the worst sportscasters ever and even worse as a news reader/commentator, went over the edge even by his own standards by using the Haiti earthquake disaster to say
how necessary Obamacare is. Puh-leeze.

It gets better. Whenever you let liberals interview each other and let them ramble on a subject, you’re bound to catch them spewing forth something that proves beyond any doubt that they are utter morons. Take Hollyweird actor Danny Glover, for example. The Hugo Chavez lover said that the
Haiti earthquake was caused by Glo-Bull Warming and was the result of the Copenhagen conference being screwed up and concluding with no world-changing agreement. Will someone please let this science-challenged dude know that plate tectonics are not in any way related to temperatures.

The U.S. Commission on Civil Rights subpoenaed a lot of information from the Affirmative Action Attorney General’s Injustice Department regarding the department’s support of the New Black Panther Party’s voter intimidation efforts. Eric Holder’s people have now said that
they will refuse to abide by the subpoenas because of executive orders, privacy laws, and attorney-client privilege. Is that an admission that the Black Panthers are legally represented by Holder’s people and that the White House ordered the charges to be dropped against them?

Okay, so the Supreme Court has verified that the Second Amendment guarantees the rights of individuals to keep and bear arms, but what if something superseded the Second Amendment? The Constitution’s Article VI states that any treaty that the government of the United States ratifies becomes the supreme law of the land. That means that any treaty ratified trumps our Constitution, including the Second Amendment. There are a number of groups out there, properly called “enemies, foreign and domestic”, including George Soros’ “Open Society”, Amnesty International, UNICEF, and governments of many nations including Britain, Japan, and Canada, who are working with the United Nations to bring about a treaty that would ban all private ownership of small arms.
Take a look at this video when you have about ten minutes of spare time. Remember that one of the first things any dictatorial government does is to remove all weaponry from the citizens. Tip of The Crawfish’s hat goes to Poll Katz e-mailer “Bill”.

Dan Calabrese of North Star National is right on the money again. This time he’s not talkin’ politics, just the politics of discrimination and political correctness. When the Seattle Seahawks fired Jim Mora Jr. last week, they already had USC’s Pete Carroll in mind for the job. Discussions happened immediately, and by Saturday morning sources were saying that it was a “100% done deal” that Carroll was being hired by the Seachickens. Late that afternoon, the Seahags conducted a phone interview with Minnesota Vikings defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier, even though everybody in the world already knew who they were hiring. Why did they conduct the interview with Frazier? Because he’s black. The NFL has the “Rooney Rule”, which states that any team looking to fill a front office or head coaching position has to interview at least one minority before filling the position. The phone interview fulfilled the team’s obligation under the rule, but in reality it was an insult to Frazier and all other qualified minorities who get interviews just because of their skin color. Hopefully, Frazier will someday get a legitimate shot at a head coaching job, if that is what he wants. If he does, I guarantee that it will be because he’s the right guy for the job, not the right black guy for the job.

How in the world is The Prophet Algoracle going to explain this one? There has now been a
death from hypothermia reported in Miami. We’re not talking about Miami, Ohio. That’s Miami, Florida.

Oh, and about those claims that the polar ice caps are melting at an alarming rate? Yeah…the truth is that the
summer ice cap size has increased by 26% since 2007. Have you seen that info posted anywhere in the mainstream media?

His handlers have found one way to keep Tiger Woods away from his stable of blonde bimbos. Reportedly he is in a
sex rehab clinic in South Africa, far from hot white blondes.

One of the key figures in the ClimateGate scandal is in the news again. Professor Mann of Penn State not only manipulated data, but is also one of the originators of the “hockey stick” graph that was used in The Prophet Algoracle’s movie. Guess who got a
$500,000.00 grant from the “stimulus”?

Forum Moderator “Wildman” at posted
this story from Sweden and I just had to bring it to my readers. I don’t even need to comment.

The Crawfish is a bit busy these days getting ready to move, looking for a job, prepping my retirement ceremony, getting everything done in order to retire from the military, etc. I will probably not post any columns during the final week of January and the first week of February as I deal with the movers here and when I get home to Texas. If the Cowboys do not knock Mrs. Crawfish’s Saints out of the playoffs (if they meet January 24th), I’ll be back in the 2nd week of February. If they do…(gulp)…The Crawfish might be gator food in the swamps of Louisiana.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The Utopian schemes of leveling [re-distribution of the wealth] and a community of goods [central ownership of the means of production and distribution], are as visionary and impractical as those which vest all property in the Crown. [These ideas] are arbitrary, despotic, and, in our government, unconstitutional.”– Samuel Adams

The Constitution of the United States

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

1-12-2010 The Weekly Claw

Too all of my readers in Texas and the Philly area, all I’ve gotta say is 34-14, baby! Bring on the Vikings!

For those of you who, like The Crawfish, are tired of your wallets becoming 3 inches thick because of all of those customer loyalty cards (1 for every grocery store in town, 1 for Sam’s or BJ’s, 1 for CVS, 1 for every gas station in the state, 1 for Harry’s House of Horrid Hamburgers, etc.),
Neal Boortz found an app for the iPhone or iTouch that allows you to input all of those cards on your portable brains and use ‘em without carrying them in your wallet.

Proving once again that studies by liberal groups have nothing in common with the truth, a report has been released that gives the Obama Administration
an ‘A’ for openness and transparency. Considering the health care debates, how can they say that with a straight face?

It looks like the Democrats and the unions (but I repeat myself) are getting very nervous about the special election in Taxachusetts next Tuesday. Republican Scott Brown kicked Martha Coakley’s tail in a televised debate, is surging in the polls, and
doubled his fundraising goals for a 24-hour event. How do the leftists respond? They illegally use union dues to PAY union members to protest in favor of Coakley and spend even more union dues on Coakley signs. Big pharma is also backing the leftist candidate, but her numbers still fall.

One of the best commentators on television regarding the law and the Constitution of the United States is Fox News’ Judge Andrew Napolitano. He’s running a series of 5 minute lessons on the Constitution and our federal government at The Fox Nation.
Here’s a link to parts 1 and 2. Enjoy.

When His Eminence Sultan Bu’raq al Obama and his Affirmative Action Attorney General decided to bring the Gitmo detainees into the American civilian court system, many of us said that this was an effort by our pro-Islam leadership to ensure that the Islamists went free. The evidence against them was not obtained under pristine conditions and they weren’t Mirandized upon capture, so it would be thrown out by judges upholding our own laws. The Administration said this opinion was ludicrous and that the world would see that we could give our enemies fair trials by our own laws and still convict them. Are they still saying that after a
federal judge has tossed out most of the evidence against one of the unlawful combatants?

The man who has been nominated to take over the TSA is a real winner. He believes
Christians are more of a threat than Al Qaeda. Well, since Obama supports muslims over Christians and Jews, that makes sense.

Obama’s supporters at Code Pink have now officially joined the Islamic Terrorist cause. They are
working with the Muslim Brotherhood to support kidnapping George W and Laura Bush, along with other Americans, to “cleanse” or nation and put those people on war crimes trials in muslim nations. I don’t know about y’all, but that sounds like treason to me. Too bad our esteemed Affirmative Action Attorney General will support them.

Townhall blogger “
Nee” sent in this article about Islamic terrorists connected to an Islamic center in Houston. When will our nation admit that Islam is the enemy?

While The Crawfish
wholly supports this action, I find it difficult to believe that the United States had anything to do with it. First, we’re woefully short of human operatives in that part of the world. Secondly, Bu’raq al Obama, while publicly opposing the nuclear ambitions of Iran, wants Iran to eventually nuke Israel or part of Europe to pave the way for the Worldwide Caliphate.

Liberals and race warlords like the Great Shakedown Artist Jesse Be The Jackson and the Not-so-reverend Al “Tawana Brawley” Sharpton continually portray the GOP and conservatives as racists. So why is it that the party with the former Klansman as their longest serving Senator and the Senate leader
who utters the racist comments is the party that gets all of their support? Personally, The Crawfish is tired of the PC garbage. Prejudice is normal, so let’s quit pretending it isn’t. I don’t really care how much of a racist someone is, as long as their actions don’t affect me. If a Senator is racist, as long as he doesn’t write or vote for racist legislation why should it matter?

If we really want a valid reason to kick Harry Reid out of office, how about the fact that
he violated federal laws with the way he ramrodded items through in the Senate Obamacare bill? Sounds like an impeachable offense to me.

How in the world does Oliver Stone make any money in the United States? Every single film he makes is anti-American. Now he’s coming out with a 10-part series on Showtime Network that takes a
unique view of history. He’s going to show Hitler and Stalin as not really the villains we know they are, but rather in the “context” of their surroundings. He says he’s expecting “ignorant” comments from people like Rush Limbaugh, and everybody else who has actually studied history. Note that in this article, he says that the Noo Yawk Slimes is a CENTRIST newspaper, which shows us all exactly where he lives (hint…it ain’t in the world of reality).

Another hero of humanity has passed on.
Miep Gies, thank you for your actions during the Holocaust. You claimed to not be a hero, but you were.

Lies, upon lies, upon lies… The Chosen One’s Administration has decided that the phony way that had been used to count jobs “saved” or “created” by the “stimulus” just wasn’t working out too well, so now they will start counting every single project that has a single stimulus dollar attached to it will have
all jobs associated with it count as “saved” or “created” even if the job existed before the stimulus dollars and will exist after the stimulus dollars. Pretty soon, they will announce that every single job in America that has not been lost has been “saved” by stimulus dollars.

One of the top dawgs in the UN’s Glo-Bull Warming hierarchy now says that Glo-Bull Warming will resume 20 or 30 years from now,
after a harsh period of cooling. Sooooooooo…warming leads to cooling which leads to more warming. Why don’t these frauds just admit that they’re full of bovine excrement and that the sun and Mother Nature are NOT controlled by man’s actions? Come clean like Mark McGwire sorta did.

Some parents really need to get a clue. Why does a
pre-K BOY need long hair? Are his parents grooming him to be an NFL thug in 20 years? Try giving the boy a MALE hair style! The Crawfish supports the school district 100%. As for taking the school district to court…on what grounds? It’s their school. They make the rules!

So how’s that socialist paradise working out down in Hugoland? This past week he devalued the currency by 50%, sent the army to close down shops that had the unmitigated gall to raise their prices in order to sell their goods at a profit instead of a loss, and now his extremely oil-rich nation is
rationing electricity and having rolling blackouts. And to think…the Democratic Party wants to emulate THAT?

The Crawfish apologizes to his readers for not replying to many comments lately. I’ve been a bit under the weather, along with getting ready to move, looking for a job, prepping my retirement ceremony, getting everything done in order to retire from the military, etc. I will probably also not post any columns during the final week of January and the first week of February as I deal with the movers here and when I get home to Texas.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“The Utopian schemes of leveling [re-distribution of the wealth] and a community of goods [central ownership of the means of production and distribution], are as visionary and impractical as those which vest all property in the Crown. [These ideas] are arbitrary, despotic, and, in our government, unconstitutional.”– Samuel Adams

The Constitution of the United States

Friday, January 8, 2010

1-8-2010 The Weekend Claw

This weekend’s column is a bit shorter than usual…STOP CHEERING!...but there’s still enough to get your brain cells active.

Aw shucky-darn. The Alabama Crimson Tide lucked out Thursday night when they managed to knock Colt McCoy out of the national cham-peen-ship game in the first quarter. McCoy’s replacement, a true freshman, threw 4 interceptions and had a fumble, leading to the defeat of the Texas Longhorns.

It has been said that Queen of the House Red Nanny P-Lousy and Dingy Harry Reid are leading the Democrats on a kamikaze mission in order to “fundamentally change” our nation from a Constitutional republic into a European socialistic entity. This week a couple of Senators signaled that they are beginning their terminal dives into our ship of state, giving their political lives in service of their emperor. They will vote hard-left for the next year, completely going against what the people of their states desire and what the Constitution requires, and will end their political careers in the process. The Dems know that they will not have power forever, and are willing to lose some powerful players in order to put their anti-Constitutional socialist programs in place, knowing that once those programs are in place, they will never be overturned. Byron Dorgan (Donkey-Frostbite State) announced his impending doom on Tuesday afternoon, while Chris Dodd (Donkey-Countrywide Home Loans) made his announcement on Wednesday at his Connecticut home, paid for with his illegal sweetheart mortgage deal.

Red Nanny’s capability to tell lies that she truly believes surpasses even Bill “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky” Clinton. When C-SPAN challenged her and Dingy Harry to open up the Obamacare negotiations to public scrutiny, she actually said “There has never been a more open process for any legislation.” Really? So why have you been forced to have votes on weekends and at 1:00AM? Why have you refused to consider amendments not specifically brought by the House or Senate leadership? Why have all negotiations been closed to all but the leadership? Why did Harry Reid’s staff write the Senate bill in secret so that his #2, Richard “Turban” Durbin had to admit that he had no idea what was in it before the vote?

When even See-BS News is slamming the Democrats for their complete lack of transparency, you know the bloom is off the rose.

Ray Stevens gives us his take on Obamacare with a new song and video. Y’all might remember Ray from such classics as “Ahab the A-rab”, “It’s Me Again Margaret”, and “The Streak”.

The evidence of Glo-Bull Warming was seen in dozens of headlines around the nation and the world this week, with Seoul experiencing its greatest snowfall in 70 years, Britain getting its heaviest snowfall in 50 years, and Vermont getting its biggest snowstorm in history. Even Miami wasn’t spared, with the Orange Bowl being played in the coldest temperatures of its history.

It is now officially fact. The Arctic is warming. The seal population is dying off rapidly. Where masses of ice once were, there are now rocks. Some glaciers are just gone! See, it is right here in this report. Oh, my bad. That report’s dated October 10, 1922. So why are there still seals and glaciers 87.5 years later?

The envirowackos finally got what they deserved. For a long time, they have been harassing Japanese whaling ships. They even made a television series about it. Well, one of them was firing projectiles in an attempt to disable the propellers of one of the Japanese ships, so another Japanese ship rammed and sank the envirowacko vessel. Domo arigato, Shonan Maru!

I’m sure y’all remember back last year when Obama’s “Pay Czar” limited all salaries at companies receiving bailout money to a half-mil. Looks like there’s an exemption for executives of the companies that were the biggest dominoes in the financial industry collapse and are receiving unlimited bailouts.

The arrogance of this Administration is a wonder to behold. While admitting that he had not read the letters from state Attorneys General regarding the Obamacare bills, White House Press Lord Gibbs said “I do not believe that anybody has legitimate constitutional concerns about the legislation.” No legitimate Constitutional concerns? Is he daft? Oh, that’s right. This Administration doesn’t believe that the Constitution is legitimate. During the campaign, The Chosen One stated that the Constitution is a “flawed document”.

This one was sent to me by multiple readers, which makes me glad to know that my fans are as properly skewed as I am, but the first was Townhall blogger “Saltwater”. Unlike President Obama and the Nobel Peace Prize, this award was well-earned.

Oh, and GO COWBOYS! Beat the Filthadelphia Illegals!

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“If, from the more wretched parts of the old world, we look at those which are in an advanced stage of improvement, we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude. Invention is continually exercised, to furnish new pretenses for revenues and taxation. It watches prosperity as its prey and permits none to escape without tribute.” – Thomas Paine

The Constitution of the United States

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

1-5-2010 The Weekly Claw

Welcome to 2010. To quote a very famous fat orange tabby: “Big, fat, hairy deal!” Let’s just HOPE that The Crawfish can soon find good civilian employment.

We’ll start off our parade of news from the past week with something from that eeeeeevillllll right wing non-news outlet, Fox News. They have a slideshow with links to the
nine big stories that the liberal media either refused to carry or tried to ignore/cover up in 2009. They are: Van Jones, the ACORN tapes, Science Czar John Holdren, ClimateGate, the attempted politicizing of the National Endowment for the Arts, Chas Freeman, the Tea Parties, Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings, and how “stimulus” money was sent to Democrat-represented districts by an almost 2:1 ratio. If you go through the 2009 stories at my old site, you’ll find every single one of those stories covered multiple times.

Dad burnit! The Crawfish’s hometown team, the Texas Christian University Horned Frogs, made it through the regular season undefeated and went to a BCS game, namely the Fiesta Bowl, but fell to the Boise State Broncos by a score of 17-10. To Coach Patterson and all of his players, The Crawfish thanks you for giving us a great run. Get’em next year, Froggies!

Last year, I mentioned the special election for the Senate seat that for so awfully long belonged to Teddythedrunk (D-Chappaquiddick). Claw contributor “beachmom” sent
this link that shows just what a horrible person Democrat State Attorney General Martha Coakley is. To further her political career, she intentionally kept an innocent man in prison. She needs to spend time in prison instead of in the Senate. Michelle (***sigh***) Malkin has even more information on why conservatives should support Scott Brown in this race, and wonders why the Republican Party hasn’t lifted a finger to help him.

The liberals and the Democrats, but I repeat myself once again,
pooh-poohed Sarah Palin as a nutcase when she said that Bu’raq al Obama wanted to have Miranda rights read to terrorists. The events of December 26th prove that she was completely correct. Why do they keep claiming she’s such a lying and stupid ditz when she is simply telling the truth about what they are doing? Could it be that they simply don’t want the American people to understand what their plans are until it is too late to do anything about them?

Not only are we not harshly interrogating the soiled underwear bomber, but now the Obama Administration is
cutting a plea deal with the Islamic terrorist in order to get the information that we would have gotten from him if we had turned him over to the CIA and the military instead of reading him his Miranda rights. We should have just threatened him with knives soaked in pig blood.

While we’re on the subject of His Majesty giving support to our mortal enemies, e-mailer “Ginny” of the Poll Katz
managed to find out which prison the President and his lackey, Eric Holder, are planning on keeping the terrorists in while they’re our guests in Noo Yawk.

I just realized that I have been remiss in my duties. I haven’t typed anything against the Islamic terrorist supporters at the unindicted co-conspirator organization from the Holy Land Foundation case, CAIR. I must rectify that situation! The Obama Administration’s new policies of giving some extra screening to people from or travelling from nations that are hotbeds of Islamic terrorism
has CAIR’s panties in a twist. They’re upset that these measures amount to discrimination and…wait for it…prepare to be outraged…it really is anti-PC…PROFILING!!!! Well no kidding, Achmed bin Duh! If Islamic males between the ages of 15 and 50 weren’t responsible for 99% of the terrorist actions in the world over the past couple of decades, we wouldn’t need to keep an eye on the Followers of the Pedophilic False Prophet!

Judicial Watch has announced their
Ten Most Wanted Corrupt Politicians for 2009. No, the list is not exclusively Democrats. If the media would pay any attention at all to the scandals listed in this list the American people would be outraged and throw all of the bums out. All of them should be in federal prison, but since the chief law enforcement officers in the United States, President Obama and the Affirmative Action Attorney General, are on the list that will never happen.

One of this column’s favorite crooks, Rep. Bawney Fwank (D-Heterophobic Brothels of Taxachusetts), is on the list, but David Reilly of shows us even more to cement Bawney’s place on the list. You see, Bawney wrote a piece of financial reform legislation this year. It actually passed in the House (I know, big surprise that a corrupt liberal piece of legislation passed in P-Lousy’s House). David took the time to do something that none of the Democrats who voted for this bill did. He read it.
Click here to see what he found. Hat tip to e-mailer “Ginny” of the Poll Katz.

Bawney’s favorite government-run entities, Freddie and Fannie, are losing money hand-over-fist, but that just means that they’re doing their job very well. How else do you explain that their
CEO’s are in line to get paid as much as $6,000,000.00 for 2009? Meanwhile, the taxpayers are going to have to bail Freddie and Fannie out, AGAIN, to the tune of $400,000,000,000.00 or more. Those CEO’s must be good Democrats in the mold of Jamie Gorelick and Franklin Raines.

There’s another lawbreaker slated for a top position in the Obama Administration. While calls have gone out for Republican Senators to drop their block on Obama’s nominee to head the Transportation Security Administration following the Christmas Day Islamic terrorism attempt, the
highly questionable background of the nominee, Erroll Southers, is just coming to light. Southers seriously abused his position as an FBI agent in order to get criminal background information about the boyfriend of his ex-wife, which is also a violation of the Privacy Act. I thought the liberals were still screaming about how George W. Bush and his Patriot Act were violating Americans privacy.

The Chosen One is not even close to destroying our national sovereignty, but that doesn’t mean he’s not trying. He has assured lots of Hispanic groups that he will
push hard in 2010 for legalization of all 20,000,000+ non-drybacks currently taking jobs from Americans.

The Crawfish finds it amazing that our national security is compromised by the desire for “diversity” and other PC rot. There’s a program run by the State Department, and this dates back to the Clinton Administration, that
awards immigration visas based on “diversity” and trying to get more immigrants from nations that currently don’t send us enough of their people. Since the USS Cole was bombed in a Yemeni port, the State Department has awarded 72 of those visas to people from Yemen.

Senator John “Did I mention I served in Vietnam” Kerry, with his history of supporting our nation’s enemies,
has requested permission to travel to Iran, where no official visits have been made by American governmental officials since 1979. His plans have not been revealed, and the White House says the request was not made on their behest, but what are the odds that Kerry wants to be the go-between for The Chosen One and I’minajihad? UPDATE: I’minajihad denied John “Lurch” Kerry-Heinz’s visa request.

Y’all really ain’t gonna believe this one. A
Danish newspaper has proclaimed, “Obama is, of course, greater than Jesus – if we have to play that absurd Christmas game, but it is probably more meaningful to insist that with today's domestic triumph, that he has already assured himself a place in the history books – a space he has good chances of expanding considerably in coming years.”

How does our government waste your money? Well, the answers to that question are almost endless, as the website for
Citizens Against Government Waste documents with great regularity. The example we have this week, however, comes from Fox News. Every year we spend untold millions on stoooopid research studies on subjects that the government doesn’t need to spend a dime on, and here are just a few from 2009.

Bravo to the folks in Colorado, who are pushing to make
state laws to counter Obamacare. This is the groundwork needed to force federal court action that will determine whether or not the 10th Amendment still exists.

So far, thirteen state attorneys general (all Republican) are looking into challenging the Obamacare legislation in federal court on Constitutional grounds if it ever gets finalized. Senator Ben “Cornhusker Kickback” Nelson is trying to
get those AGs to back off. Sorry, Ben, but they are fighting for their states’ Constitutional rights. A complete lack of respect for the Constitution is why you are looking at a certain defeat in 2012.

The leftists have long said that the Obamacare plans would not include health care rationing. They also championed Medicare as THE example of how good the socialist opt…er, public op…uh…consumer option would be. Too bad that many doctors and hospitals have stopped taking on Medicare patients because the government pays claims at below-cost rates. The latest organization to stop taking Medicare patients is none other than the
Arizona branch of the Mayo Clinic.

“That's what I will do in bringing all parties together, not negotiating behind closed doors, but bringing all parties together, and broadcasting those negotiations on C-SPAN so that the American people can see what the choices are.” That was the solemn promise of Bur’aq al Obama during the campaign of 2008. So far, the negotiating has been Democrats only and behind closed doors. They’re planning to continue to do that and pull some other shenanigans in order to not call the house/Senate Obamacare negotiations a “conference committee” which would allow the GOP to force them to get 60 votes again. The
CEO of C-SPAN is challenging them to do what Obama promised, and what the American people are demanding. Will that matter to the donkeys?

Y’all remember how the EPA and the leftists were claiming that CO2 levels were rising sharply and that was the reason for Glo-Bull Warming? Well, as per usual for the supporters of the Great Fraud, they lied. Global CO2 levels
haven’t risen in the past 160 years. That means the computer models that have been used by the Gorons and their Prophet Algoracle are completely false. Have those folks told the truth about ANYTHING? When will the main stream media start to cover the facts of this story? (insert sound of crickets here)

The fanatics of the fraud planned a big protest in Salt Lake City to voice their frustration in the failures of Hopenhagen, but a big snowstorm
dwindled their numbers to about 6.

Somebody has forgotten to tell the
indigenous mountain people of Peru that we are in the midst of Glo-Bull Warming. I’m pretty sure they would find the Prophet Algoracle’s theories highly questionable. Of course, Algoracle’s theories, and those of the rest of the Glo-Bull Warming believers, have been proven by a German scientist to be complete violations of the simple rules of physics.

Oh just great. Now once I find a new job I’m gonna have to go out and
buy replacements for every television in the house.

I know I mentioned this in my last column, but more evidence of the poor quality of the liberal public education system is on display, and it torques The Crawfish off. Check out this headline from Tampa, “
Twins Born in Different Decades at TGH” and tell me what the major mistake is.

RJ at Paul Revere’s Riders came up with another story that will make you simply shake your head and have a desire to upchuck. The first paragraph expresses The Crawfish’s sentiments exactly. “Does Obama know anyone who isn't wacky, radical, militant, judeophobic, socialist, marxist, pedophilic? ...... Does he chill with anyone who is normal? Isn't there one Marilyn Munster in the family? What a freak show this presidency is.”

Dang! Townhall uberblogger GunnyG has a powerful expose regarding Bu’raq al Obama and how he has never really worked for any position he has gotten, and has never really worked at doing the job of any of those positions once he got selected/elected/coronated. He just wanted the titles and acclaim. The
Affirmative Action Chosen One keeps proving why affirmative action programs should all be discontinued.

It’s not very often that The Crawfish agrees with atheists, but
in this case I certainly do. Since we are at war with the Followers of the Pedophilic False Prophet, aka muzzies, mooks, the Religion of Pieces, etc., I will continue to say or type things that insult their “religion” that was made up by Mohammed in order to raise an army of followers for his own power purposes.

Now here is
an interesting case for the Supreme Court to hear. The Crawfish definitely hopes that the National Football League wins this one. It only makes sense. I support a strict salary cap for athletes. Any person who earns over a million dollars per year to play a game is highly overpaid, yet some of them whine when they are offered only TEN million dollars per year. If that’s not enough for you, try to find a real job! When our military personnel can add up all of their paychecks for a 20 year career and they still fall short of what an athlete earns in a single year, something is very much wrong.

What’s wrong with this scenario? An atheist inmate imprisoned for multiple rape charges says
his rights are being violated because his cellmate is a Christian.

If y’all come across any weird/stoooopid/strange news stories that might be fodder for The Weekly Claw or The Weekend Claw, e-mail them to me at and I’ll consider ‘em. Yes, I will give you newshounds credit.

“If, from the more wretched parts of the old world, we look at those which are in an advanced stage of improvement, we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude. Invention is continually exercised, to furnish new pretenses for revenues and taxation. It watches prosperity as its prey and permits none to escape without tribute.” – Thomas Paine

The Constitution of the United States